Invader Kae
by Crazygirl313
Summary: A new Irken comes to Earth.  And she is very good at what she does.  And this time, she's on Zim's side.  ZAGR, possible character death, probable violence at the end.
1. The Nightmare Continues

**Well, this is my first story. I had the idea for it for a while now, and it feels to to be able to put it into real words. The chapters might be pretty long. Or they might be short. I am still deciding. I am not going to put in descriptions of characters from the show. Only new ones. If you see any mistakes in spelling, grammar, or anything else, let me know. I'll try to fix it.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Invader Zim or any of its characters. Nickelodeon does. I only wish I did. Cuz that would be so incredibly cool. This disclaimer goes for the entire story. I am just to lazy to put it in every chapter. So, just remember, I do not own Invader Zim.**

* * *

"What! But why?" Zim shouted at the large screen in front of him. He was sitting in one of his secret base's underground chambers. The room was made up of only a command chair, a keyboard, and a large screen that currently showed the very annoyed faces of the Almighty Tallest Red and Purple.

"New issues have come to our attention, and we feel that this is necessary," Red said with a sigh. He did not like to have to explain himself to Zim.

"Zim, whether you like it or not," Purple began explaining. "Another Invader is coming to Earth to, um, aid you in conquest of the planet."

"But," Zim began.

"Your progress has been, well, you haven't made any progress, and we decided that we need this planet, I mean, need it _sooner_, and, well, you might need some help," Red interupted. It was obvious that the little Invader was getting on his nerves.

"But," Zim began again.

"No buts. You're just going to have to deal with it," Purple announced.

"Now, she is leaving Irk in only a few hours, so be prepared for her arrival," Red told Zim. "Oh, and remember Zim, she is your superior, so show her some respect and do as she says. We don't want a repeat of the Tak invasion-"

"Hey! Tak was trying to invade _my_ assigned planet, so that gives me the right to kick her off of it!"

"Yes Zim, we know," Red said sarcastically, suggesting that he had heard Zim's argument before.

"I still like Tak's snack plan," muttered Purple under his breath.

The Almighty Tallest then cut the transmission before Zim could have a chance to annoy them further.

"Another Invader on Earth! The Tallest think that I, ZIM! am incapable of correctly taking over this puny planet!" Zim muttered to himself. "Computer! Search Invader Kae."

The blank screen in front of Zim sprang back to life and showed a picture of an Irken and a lot of writing that was in the Irken Language. Zim took a few moments to read over the text.

"Interesting," Zim mused. "Well, it took me 6 months to get to Earth, so I have a while before this Kae gets here."

A loud crash yanked his thoughts away from the coming alien. "GIR you incompetent robot! What did you break this time?" Zim ran off in the direction of the crash.

* * *

"Class, you have a new student, again. I am going to call the office and complain about all of these unwanted children."

Although the children were a few years older, they were still stuck with the same teacher: Ms. Bitters. The creepy teacher then picked up the phone and dialed the main office, leaving the new child to introduce herself.

"Hi!" she said cheerily. "I'm Katelyn! My family and I just moved here from Washington."

She was tall with yellow-blond hair that was short and spiky in the back but a single lock of hair on each side of her face was long and braided. Her eyes were large and a light amber color. She wore a short green dress that had thin straps and that went over her shoulders and side-straps on her upper arms. Up to her elbows were matching green gloves that did not cover her fingers. Identical knee socks could be seen on her long legs. She wore a simple light brown backpack on her back and a silk chocker with a green gem on it around her throat.

_Another new kid_, Zim thought. _We seem to be getting a lot of those these days._

Dib just stared silently at the girl, his mouth open.

"Hello, Katelyn," the class mechanically said.

"WELL FINE THEN!" Ms. Bitters shouted into the phone before slamming it back down onto her desk. A small spirit was seen leaving the doomed phone. Spooky, huh?

Ms. Bitters turned to Katelyn, who was still standing awkwardly in the front of the classroom. "You're going to need a seat," she said. The teacher then pointed to a random child in the class. "You! You are being transferred to the underground classroom." The poor child was then dropped out of his seat and into a hole that appeared right below him. Katelyn sat down in the desk that used to be his.

"Now I will continue the lesson on your futures. You will all amount to nothing. In other words, no matter how hard you try, you are all doomed, doomed, doomed, doomed, doomed…"

With Ms. Bitters occupied, the class began to chat with each other. Dib turned around in his chair to face the new girl, who was sitting in a desk diagonal to his. "Hi! I'm Dib."

"Hi, Dib," she said. "Two questions: is class always like this, and are there really underground classrooms?"

"Yes, and I'm not sure. Ms. Bitters says there are underground classrooms, but when the floor caved in during a breakout of lice, I didn't see any."

Katelyn gave him a startled look, but was pulled away by another girl sitting next to her.

"Don't talk to that freak. Dib is crazy," she said.

Turning back to Dib, Katelyn asked, "Is that true, Dib, are you crazy?"

"What? No, of course not!" he exclaimed.

"Don't listen to him. He still thinks that the green kid over there is an alien."

"And he told me my dad is a yeti!" yelled the child behind her. "My dad is not a yeti!"

The whole class then began into a debate on different things Dib had done that made him crazy.

"And his head is so big!" someone cried.

"MY HEAD IS NOT BIG! Why does everyone keep saying that?" Dib shouted making everyone quiet down and look at him.

"Denial," muttered Katelyn, which immediately boosted her popularity status.

"Doomed, doomed, doomed," Ms. Bitters droned on. The bell rang. "Go to lunch now."

* * *

The class filed out of the room and into the cafeteria. Kids began to take their seats according to their social status and interests. Popular, jocks, nerds, geeks, social outcasts, the works. The only ones who didn't join a group were Zim (who sat by himself and poked at his food with a spoon), Gaz (who played her game the whole time), and Dib (who talked to himself and stared menacingly at Zim). The new girl took a seat in the popular table and began chatting away with the rest of them. Dib continued to stare at her. Gaz looked up from her game for a few seconds to look at Zim. Their eyes locked. She smiled and looked back to her game. The bell rang again and the class went back to their classroom. The rest of the day was uneventful.

* * *

Zim began work on his latest evil scheme in one of the rooms of his underground base after skool. It involved mutant bunnies that shot lasers. So far, it wasn't turning out so well.

"Incoming message," Computer stated boredly.

"Who could that be?" Zim wondered to himself. "I already contacted the Tallest."

Zim pushed a button and the screen above him turned to a picture of a female Irken. She had orange eyes and a matching orange dress similar to the one Katelyn wore. Long antennae that had a slight curl at the end of them adorned her green head.

"My name is Invader Kae," she said. "Send me the coordinates of your base."

* * *

"I need to know all of the data you have collected on the humans," Kae said. She had tunneled over to Zim's base after he sent her the coordinates and was now trying to get as much info as possible out of him.

"Um, OK, like what?" Zim replied.

"Their military status, how smart they are, if anyone has noticed you yet, anything that can help with the mission. From what I have gathered, humans don't know anything about life outside their own planet, but that Dib-Human seems like he suspects that your an alien."

"Yea, Dib kind of knows that I'm an alien, but he can't prove it. Say, how do you know about that. You just got here."

"I was in your class at Skool today. Katelyn." Kae answered.

"But that doesn't explain how you knew how to disguised yourself so well. And fit in with the other filthy children so well."

"This planet has something called the "Internet", which anyone with a computer can get to. It hold most of the knowledge of this planet and has social "websites." Spend a few hours on one of those websites and you know exactly how to look and act. And nobody knows who you are so if you act really weird in the beginning, no on cares. It's really quite helpful."

"Oh."

"Can I ask you one more question?" Zim asked.

"What?"

"How did you get here so fast? It took me six months to get here, but it took you less than a weak."

"I took a wormhole. So, back to this Dib person," Kae said, getting strait to business.

"He's kind of like my arch nemesis. He knows I'm an alien, but can't get proof. And everyone else thinks he's nuts. You heard the class. However, he has stopped me several times, which is really getting on my nerves."

"Why don't you just capture or destroy him?"

"I already tried that! And every time something gets in the way!"

"But I heard you got a Megadoomer once."

"It didn't have any batteries and I couldn't get enough power for it to fire its weapons and it just ended up draining the city. And then Dib could see it as well as everyone else on the whole planet and then he pulled out a camera and I had to make it self destruct." Zim remembered the day all that happened. At least he had managed to destroy a few of the cities blocks.

"Wow. You will have to tell me about your other attempts sometime."

"Sure, I would love to show you the many genius plans of ZIM! There was this one time-"

Zim was cut off by the sound of an explosion.

"GIR! Minimoose!" Upon seeing Kae's confused expression, Zim said, "My evil henchmen/sidekicks. Gir is a crazy SIR unit and I built Minimoose, who is an unstoppable death machine when he wants to be. I just have trouble making him be one when I want him to."

Both Irkens ran up into the house and watched as Gir, Minimoose, and a pig destroyed it using some sort of giant bread sticks. Another SIR Unit was sitting on the partially destroyed couch watching the show, and enjoying it.

"AHHH! GIR! MINIMOOSE! Stop this infernal ruckus at once!" Zim shouted at the robots.

"We gots Bread sticks from the Bread Person at the mall!" Gir cried out. He then began to repeatedly beat himself in the head with bread stick.

"Squeak!" agreed Minimoose.

"Ris! Stop them before we're noticed!" Kae shouted.

The other SIR unit suluted and flashed its eyes at Kae and then grabbed Gir, Minimoose and the pig and shoved them in a pile on the floor. It then snatched away the bread sticks and shot them with one of its lasers, turning them to dust. The SIR grabbed the pig from the pile on the floor and chucked it out the window before going back to Gir and Minimoose and restraining them.

"Ok, I'll see you later, Pig!" Gir called after the animal. Minimoose just squeaked in defeat. Kae turned to Zim and cocked an antenna. Zim just stared in astonishment.

"Unstoppable death machine, huh?" Kae said, motioning to the restrained Minimoose.

"Tacos!" Gir randomly cried out.

"How come you never tried to fix him?" Kae asked, looking at the very malfunctional looking robot.

"I did once. It almost cost me my life and my mission. But I, the great ZIM! won the battle and put him back to the way he was. And switched out a Police Officer's brain with that of a squid."

Kae lifted both of her antennae at that. "You seem like you have been keeping busy," she commented.

"Yes. I have. Nice robot, by the way."

"Thanks. Ris is usually pretty good, but a few months ago she got infected with something that causes her to randomly explode."

"Randomly explode?" Zim repeated, just to be sure he had heard it properly.

"Yep. I let the scientists at her, but all they could do was make it happen less frequently. I have tried everything, but nothing works. However, when she does explode, its really easy to put her back together again. And we have been working together for a while now, and I've become pretty attached to the little robot, so I'm not going to get her replaced."

"I kind of know how you feel," Zim said looking back at Gir. By now, Ris had released the two other robots and they were all aimlessly looking about the room.

"Ima gonna make me some waffles!" shouted Gir and then for no apparent reason, the malfunctional robot pulled a rubber piggy out of his head and started playing with it.

"Then again..."

A commotion was heard out side. Both Irkens and all of the robots ran to the window in time to see Dib attacked by Zim's gnomes. Dib threw something inside the house, breaking the window in the process. Gir picked it up, but Ris took it from him and handed the devise to Kae.

"Its a camera, and its turned on," Kae stated. Zim and Kae both stared at the small spy camera for a few seconds curiously before it was ripped from Kae's hands. Everyone could now see that the camera was attached to a string that was being used to quickly pull the camera back out the broken window.

"Ha! Success!" Dib cried from outside. "Now I can prove to the world that you exist!" Dib looked down at the footage he had captured as he ran down the road. "Wait, is that another alien?"

Back at Zim's house, Kae wasted no time in stopping Dib.

"Ris, follow that human and destroy that camera. And feel free to hurt the human in the process," Kae ordered.

The SIR unit saluted and then jumped out of the broken window and onto the street.

"Is it always like this here?" Kae asked Zim.

"Yea, pretty much an average day in the amazing life of ZIM! Well, except for another Irken coming to the planet. That only happened once before."

Kae shrugged. "Wanna go get some snacks?"

"Oh, sure. I could use some right now."

"Yea! Snacks!" Gir shouted as he followed them out of the room.

"Squeek!"

"Computer! Clean up this mess!" Zim shouted, motioning to the still-destroyed house as the four crowded into the elevator below the sofa.

* * *

**This is probably going to be one of the most boring chapters of the story. I promise, it will pick up speed in the next few chapters. I just needed to introduce the characters and show how everything got started. Now I can start to have some fun. The series is going to play out like episodes of Invader Zim, but with a few cliffhangers. *Laughs Evilly***

**Oh, and just in case you didn't pick this up from the story yet, this is set a few years in the future from when the actual show happened. However, the kids still go to the Skool (Well, its really the Midle Skool now) and they are still stuck with Ms Bitters because I am too lazy to come with another teacher, and I personally really like Ms Bitters. Hoary for doom.**

**As the story goes on, you will learn more and more about the characters. And, after I complete my story, I will make a few alternate endings, cuz I have a few in mind, and I think you will like them. I'll get the next chapter up ASAP! Thanks for reading!**


	2. Tutor and Torture

**Chapter two is here! I really don't think I have any fans yet, so, if you want to make me happy, you will review my story. Just so you know, the character Kae is Katelyn, but if I refer to Kae, then she is out of her holographic disguise, and Katelyn is when she is in her disguise. **

**Now for my random Invader Zim quote of the Day! "Why? Why my Piggy? I loveded you Piggy! I loveded you!" ~GIR (Bad, Bad Rubber Piggy)**

* * *

The Almighty Tallest just stared at the screen in front of them. It showed a human girl with her head down in her arms wearily.

"Kae said that humans don't know about aliens on Earth," Red said to Purple. "And that revealing that to be untrue would compromise her mission."

"Ok, so then why is there a human sleeping on the control panels?" Purple asked.

The girl picked her head up and looked at the monitor in front of her.

"Um, we're not aliens," Purple said to the girl.

"Huh?" The girl, known as Katelyn, looked down at herself. "Oh, sorry." She pulled off her silk choker and the image of her flickered and then disappeared all together, showing the Tallest that she was really Kae. "I apologize for not taking off my disguise before calling. I am not feeling very well but I knew I needed to report in."

"Wow, you look terrible," Red said to her.

"Yes, I know. I need to run a diagnostic on my condition and will do so as soon as this call has ended."

"Well, you had better do that now."

"Very well, my Tallest."

The transmission was cut. Kae shakily stood up and made her way to the medical bay, where she laid down on the table. Zim walked in.

"You look terrible."

"Well I don't feel so great either."

Hearing the venom in her voice, Zim decided it would be best to leave her alone. He left as quickly as her could.

"Computer, run a scan of my body and tell what is wrong with it," Kae ordered.

A red light moved up her body and then back down it again and a 3D image of herself appeared on the monitor. The computer sought out the problem and then the screen zoned in on a specific part of the image of her body.

"Problem detected," her computer said. A full diagnostic displayed itself on the monitoring screen in the Irken language. Kae took a moment to look it over.

"Something I ingested," she muttered. "What did I eat?" Then the realization struck her. "That stupid muffin!" The previous day at Midle Skool, someone had given her a muffin and she had eaten it to appear normal. When no serious conditions developed right away, she had forgotten about it and never took anything to make sure that it didn't hurt her. "Stupid, stinking, poisonous Earth food! Computer, develop a serum to reverse the affects of the muffin."

The computer made a few beeping and scratching noises and then produced a needle and injected the Irken with the muffin cure. After a few minutes, Kae was able to get up and go over to Zim's base.

* * *

"What are you doing?" she asked when she saw Zim fiddling with lasers and an Earth creature known as a rabbit.

"Trying to make this bunny-creature shoot lasers and destroy all of mankind for me!"

"Do you have a way to control it?"

"Heh?"

"A way to control the creature. To make sure that it doesn't run wild and destroy us as well as the humans?"

"Well, there goes that plan," Zim muttered. "You look better."

"Thanks for noticing. Hey, you were going to tell me about your previous attempts to take over the planet, remember?"

"Oh, yea."

Both Irkens went up to the house part of Zim's base and put on simple disguises, in case anyone should see in. Zim had on his wig and lenses, and Kae pulled out a wig of her own (simple long black hair) and some lenses. Hey, if it works for Zim, it will work for her. The two newly disguised aliens sat down on the couch. Zim began telling Kae of his many adventures here on Earth.

"And everyone thought he smelled horrible and called him Sandwich-Boy. And then Dib finally found out that he was turning into bologna, while he was in the Bathroom! You should have seen the look on his face when I told him there was no cure."

Kae was cracking up at the Bolognius Maximus story that Zim was telling her.

"And then this other time, I tricked Dib into thinking that a kid in our class named Poonchy was really an Irken Invader."

"He had an alien Death Machine!" shouted a voice in the room with them. Kae was imeadiatly on her feet with a small scary looking gun in each hand, aiming at where the voice was coming from.

"Computer! Intruder alert!" Zim shouted, and the house shut the window that neither Irken had realized was open while robotic arms came down from the celing and began grabbing at the air.

"I can't see the intruder!" the computer boomed.

"Then switch to Infrared!" Kae shouted. There was a beep and then the arms began grabbing at something they could now see. A metal arm held up a partially invisible Dib. Kae ripped the cloaking jacket off of him.

"I was right! There _is_ another alien here!" Dib shouted.

"Well good for you. How did you get past the gnome field?" Kae asked, remembering her first night here.

"Your gnomes couldn't see me! My dad made my cloaking jacket!"

"Hmmm. I'll have to upgrade the gnomes."

"I'm going to stop you!" Cried Dib in a very heroic manner.

"Stop me from what?" Asked Kae. She was beginning to enjoy this.

"I don't know, your evil plan."

"I don't have an evil plan yet."

"Well, when you get an evil plan, I will stop you!"

"What makes you so sure?"

"I stopped Zim every single time!"

"Stopped him from what?"

"Taking over the Earth!" Dib shouted.

"Oh, well give him a break. This is his first planet."

"You act like you've done this before."

"I have. I have successfully taken 9 worlds in the name of the Irken Empire. 7 planets and 2 moons. I am trained both as an Invader and as a soldier. I have seen more carnage in one place than the entire population of your planet."

"Really?"

"Yup."

"Wow."

"Thanks."

"You need to get a life."

"I'm going to hurt you now."

Kae walked out of the room and when she returned, she was holding a cardboard box. She opened the box and took out some sort of mechanical device and set it on the floor in front of Dib.

"I'm going to torture you now." She said very calmly.

"Wait, is that what I think it is?"

"Probably."

"How is that going to-"

"You'll see." Kae smiled evilly. "Oh, GIR!"

Dib's eyes widened. "You wouldn't!"

"I would."

"Yes?" Gir asked, coming into the room. His eyes widened at the sight of the device in front of Dib. "Karaoke!"

"NO!" Dib shouted as Gir happily jumped onto the karaoke machine and grabbed the microphone. Kae pulled out a pair of ear plugs and left the room laughing.

"I'm gonna sing this one for Piggy!" Gir shouted into the microphone. Dib began to howl in agony.

* * *

"Now class, I am going to hand back your tests," Ms. Bitters said. It was the middle of the day, right after lunch, in the Classroom. Ms Bitters set a graded test down on each child's desk and told them what she thought of their grade. "Horrible, terrible, monstrous, acceptable (Zeta), bad, dreadful, hopeless, lousy, atrocious," She got to Katelyn. "Katelyn, you had the best grade in the class. You get an A." She went to Dib. "Dib, you failed. Again."

"I'm sorry, Ms. Bitters. I was tortured by an insane robot singing karaoke" (he shuttered at the thought) "and when I finally got loose, I had to investigate a Bigfoot sighting and got malled by a bear. So, I didn't study or get much sleep last night."

"No excuses. At this rate, you are going to fail the semester. I'm going to call your father and get you a tutor." Ms Bitters snarled. "Katelyn! You are going to tutor Dib."

"Yes Ms Bitters," Katelyn said, obviously surprised.

"Good, you'll start tonight." The bell rang. "Go home now."

As children ran out of the classroom, Katelyn caught up with Dib.

"Hey! Dib!"

He stopped and looked at Katelyn. "Hi," he said. _Wow, she is pretty,_ he thought.

"I'll be a your place at 6:00," she said.

"Ok, see you there."

* * *

Back at the secret base...

"Are you really going to tutor Dib?" Zim asked. He knew that there was no way he would ever help that human.

"Of course I am."

"But why? You are helping the Dib-Thing! And just yesterday you were torturing him with Gir's karaoke! By the way, we did get that on tape, right?"

"Yes, we got it on tape, and I am using Dib. That's why. His dad is the greatest scientist on this planet, and without him, the Earth would probably fall into chaos! While I distract Dib, Ris will put on her cloaking device and download information from the scientist's lab. Anything we can use will be given to the Tallest to help build more advanced weaponry. And she will gather information on possible ways to easily destroy the planet and enslave all mankind. Understand?"

"Yea, I think so."

"Good. Now I have to get over there. Ris!" The small robot appeared holding a cupcake. Kae looked at Zim. "Gir's condition isn't contagious, is it?"

"I don't think so."

Kae looked back to Ris. "Put on your cloaking device and follow me. You know what to do when we get there."

Ris saluted and quickly ate her cupcake before turning completely invisible. Kae put her necklace on and tapped the green gemstone in the middle. She immediately took on the look of an ordinary Earth female.

"I shouldn't be gone too long. Don't blow anything up."

"You worry too much. I'll be fine." Zim assured her. Kae gave him a look that was anything but assured and left the room. Zim then happily grabbed a live wire and tried to tie it to a circular metal object and was almost electrocuted.

* * *

*Ding Dong!*

"The doorbell! She's here!" Dib shouted. He ran to the door and opened it. It was a pimple covered pizza delivery guy.

"Um, I think you have the wrong house. I didn't order any pizza." Dib said.

"Are you sure?"

"Yea, I'm sure."

"Oh, sorry about that, sir," the pizza guy said.

Dib shut the door and walked back to the kitchen. The bell rang again. *Ding Dong!*

Dib ran back over to the door.

"Hi Katelyn!" he said.

"Hi Dib. Is your dad home?" Katelyn asked.

"No, he had some work to do at the downtown lab."

"So we're alone?"

"No, Gaz is upstairs in her room, but she probably won't bother us."

"Ok, then lets get started." Kae lugged a few Skool books into the living room. She opened the Math book.

* * *

When Dib had opened the door, Ris had slipped through. She listened and learned that the scientist was not here. That was good. Now all she had to do was find the lab. Ris used x-ray enhancement to locate all of the rooms in the building and make a virtual map. She saw the three life forms in it and noted which rooms they were in: Irken and young human male in the living room and young human female in a room upstairs. She then activated her guidance chip and used it to search the house for the lab. There: below her. The entire downstairs basement was a lab. She ran to the stairs and went to this lab. Then she located the main computer and hooked herself up to it. It was easy getting past the firewall, password, and other ways to protect the computer from hackers. Her advanced Irken hacking systems made sure of that. The hard part would be making sure no one found her. After all, the wire she had used to attach herself to the computer was visible. So, with all of her senses on high alert, Ris began to copy and download everything off the computer.

* * *

It sounded like gunshots going off. Dib and Katelyn both looked up from their textbook at the noise.

"What is that?" Katelyn asked.

"Gaz coming down the steps. She must be really angry at something. I suggest you get ready to run for your life."

"DIB! Where is my Pizza? It should have been here half an hour ago!" Shouted the very scary girl.

"Pizza? Wait a minute, you ordered pizza?" Dib said, remembering the pizza delivery guy he had turned away.

"You know where it is! What did you do with my pizza! If there is a single slice missing I will rip your legs off and force you to eat them!"

Dib, now terrified, stuttered, "Well, you see, I didn't know that you ordered any pizza, and, well, when the delivery guy came, I um, thought he had the wrong address and, uh, turned him away. Please don't hurt me!"

"I am going to rain doom down upon you! You will suffer like no human ever has and ever will! I am going to rip your arms off and feed them to my robot dolls! I am going to-"

"Uh, Gaz, Bloaties closes in 15 minutes. I suggest you hurry over there and get some pizza while you can and destroy your brother later, when I'm not here as a witness."

Gaz made a noise that a lion would make if i saw a gazelle harassing its cubs. "You live for now, Dib. But let it be known that I will destroy you today."

Gaz than made for the doorway and left the house.

"Ok, back to studding. Dib, you seem very distracted. In class you always say you were too busy to do something. What's bothering you?" Katelyn decided to cut to the heart of the problem.

Dib looked at girl in front of him. "You'll think I'm crazy, just like everyone else."

Katelyn stared at him with her big eyes. "But what if I don't?"

"I'll show you something." Dib ran upstairs with Katelyn at his heels and entered the first door on the right. His bedroom. The walls were covered with posters of Bigfoot, UFOs, and other paranormal stuff. In fact, his whole room was covered in paranormal stuff. Spell drives, UFO schematics, a computer with a UFO background, everything.

"I am kind of obsessed with the supernatural. I raised the dead once, I've seen aliens, and I'm pretty sure this kid that used to be in my class is Bigfoot's baby."

"Cool."

"What?" That had been the last thing he had expected her so say.

"I said cool. I always thought this kind of stuff was pretty interesting."

"Really?"

"Yea, of course." Katelyn felt something brush up against her leg. She looked down and could just barely see the outline of Ris by her leg. She was confident that no one would be able to see her. Irkens had much better eyesight than humans. Katelyn looked back up to see that Dib was still staring at her in shock like she was an angel sent from heaven. "Hey, Dib, I have to get home now. I promised my parents I wouldn't be out too late."

The seemed to shake the human out of his surprise. "Ok, then. I'll see you at Skool tomorrow."

"Ok, bye!"

The disguised alien and invisible robot left the house.

* * *

"Well, Ris, find anything good?" Kae asked her robot companion. They were back at her base and ready to review the information they had stolen.

Ris nodded and a wire came out of her head and plugged into an access point in the wall. Human writing filled the screen above and scrolled past the top of the screen. Then all of the writing moved to the left side and was transcribed to Irken on the right. Kae knew that from there, it would be copied onto a disk that could easily be teleported to her Tallest. Kae walked over to another computer and sat down. This one was her personal status Log. After the first or second planet she had been assigned to, Kae had learned to keep the log as a way to keep track of the day's findings and accomplishments. In it, she wrote the following:

_Earth, Day 9._

_The human known as Dib now trusts me. He will give me any and all information I ask of him. Most of the Data from the Human Professor Membrane's home lab's computer has been copied and put on disk. I believe we will find something very useful in it. I am accepted as a regular Human in the Skool. The children there will also give me information I need. I believe that Dib is becoming atracted to me. He will be very useful. He will be the key to the human's resistance. Zim has given me much useful info. He knows a lot about the humans' life style._

Kae turned off the computer and went over to Zim's base. He wasn't in the underground part, so she went to the house. Zim was sitting on the couch watching TV next to the human Gaz. In fact, very close. At the sound of her arrival, both beings looked up.

"Is there something I should know about?" Kae asked suspiciously. Especially since the human did not appear startled at her alien appearance. After all, she wasn't waring a disguise.

"It's Ok, I trust her." Zim replied.

Kae was about to give him a speech about how he was jeopardizing the mission and their lives, but something in his face stopped her.

"SHHHHH! The scary monkey show is on!" Gir said. Minimoose squeaked in agreement. Kae just sighed and went back to her base to rest.

* * *

**I like this chapter because it has a lot of different aspects to it. Torture, tutoring, Dib beginning to fall for Katelyn, but not knowing that she is really Kae, Zim and Gaz connecting, people getting sick from muffins. I wanted to add some humor to this story. I hope the Karaoke torture part added that. Just so you know, chapters are not necessarily right after each other. Notice how in Kae's log she says day 9. Anyway, the next chapter is going to be a very dramatic and fast paced one. **


	3. 10 Minutes To Doom

**Chapter 3. I saw an episode online for Invader Zim that was never finished, and I got the name for this chapter and the basic idea for it from the episode. This is my version of the unfinished episode. I just said "episode" 4 times. Wow. **

**Now I want to talk about another episode that was never aired. It's called "The Trial." I read the script online, and wow, it was HILARIOUS! You _have_ to read it! You learn about Zim's past, and it makes me wonder how he even survived this long! The script was so funny, I almost started crying when I realized it would never become a real episode. CURSE YOU PERSON WHO DECIDED TO CANCEL INVADER ZIM! CURSE YOU! (Yea, I know this has absolutely nothing to do with my story, but I laughed so hard when I read the script I just want to talk about it.)**

**I think I talk too much in my Author's notes. Then again, I'm not really talking. I'm typing. But you're reading. Man, this is confusing. EEK! I'm going it again!**

**Invader Zim Quote of the Day! "AHHH! The Hideous Mutant Squid has escaped again and has created an army of Cyborg Zombie Soldiers to do its Evil Bidding!" ~Zim (Zim Eats Waffles)**

**

* * *

**Zim was sitting at a table in his base. He was using his incredible brain power to come up with a new weapon to destroy the humans. If this worked, he would have an extremely destructive gun that could be not only used in the destruction of Earth, but of many other planets as well. However, unfortunately for Zim (but fortunately for the Earth), it didn't work. It blew up in his face. Literally. And destroyed his lab.

Kae came running in. "I heard an explosion. Did anyone die?"

Zim peeled himself off the wall he had been thrown against. "I'm alive. But my base! My beautiful BASE! Curse you, Explosion! CURSE YOU!"

"Um, Zim, where's you PAK?"

"Oh, its right over," Zim looked about the ruins of his lab. "Well, it _was_ right over there" (pointed to where a table used to be) "but the explosion must have knocked it somewhere else."

"No duh. Computer, locate Zim's PAK."

"Cannot locate the device. Interference." Boomed the Computer's voice.

"Interference? Then it can't be in the base." Kae muttered. "It must have been blasted out." She looked up. the ceiling was riddled with holes. "Well, this is right below the house."

Zim was beginning to look about nervously. Kae had seen his look on Irken faces before. It was suppressed fear. Only someone who had seen many battles would be able to recognize it. And she had seen many. And she knew why Zim was afraid. An Irken's PAK was essential to their life. It held many life-support functions. And a person could only last so long without one.

"Zim, why did you take your PAK off?"

"I needed to upgrade it. And I was but then I got this idea for a super-weapon and just _had _build one, and since it wouldn't take very long, I just left my PAK plugged in to the upgrader. Then my weapon exploded and trashed my lab."

Kae sighed. "Computer, calculate how long Zim has before he, um, can't survive any longer." She tried to put it gently. _Who's dumb idea was it to make PAKs removable? _she thought.

"Calculated time is 10 minutes."

On the cracked monitor above, a time clock appeared at 10 minutes and began counting down. Kae saw the fluid drain from Zim's face.

"Ok, 10 minutes. We can find your PAK in that amount of time," Kae said, beginning to pace. She is obviously nervous. "Computer, run a simulation of the explosion and see where the PAK landed."

The cracked screen showed a picture of the Earth from space and an empty loading bar appears at the bottom of the screen. As the bar fills, the screen zooms into the Earth. It gets above the town Zim lives in and stops.

"Error. Simulation drive damaged in explosion. Cannot further simulate explosion."

Kae tried to remain calm. "OK, we can tell that the PAK landed somewhere in the town. That's a start."

Zim began to sway on his feet. Kae looked at the timer on the screen. 9:28, 9:27, 9:26,

She helped Zim stand and they both ran out the door of the room. Kae jumped into her ship and helped Zim in. She took off out of the top of her house at full speed. She touched a button her control panel. Some text appears on her small screen in Irken. Translation: Cannot lock on to Irken PAK signiture. Interference.

It was all Kae could do to keep from shouting and cussing and punching a hole in her ship's hull. She attempted to calm down. Then she pushed another few buttons. More Irken text. Translation: Searching for all Interference spots. Search complete. (End Translation) A map appeared on the screen with specific parts marked out.

"My ship must need an update," she muttered. "There are way to many interference spots."

* * *

Dib got into the Zim's house without any problems. He had found a flaw in the Irken's defense field. No one was in the house part. It was so eerily quiet it was creepy. Dib found his way to one of the entrances to the underground part of the base and began to explore it. He heard noises from on of the rooms and made his way over. However, no one was in the room. Only some mechanical arms reaching down from the ceiling to to clean up the destroyed room. And, man, it looked like a bomb had gone off in the place. On a cracked screen, Dib could see a map of his home town and a timer. There was about 8 minutes left on it. He wondered into another room, and saw Gir playing with a rubber piggy and some waffles. The robot looked up at his approch.

"Hi Big Head! Wanna play with Piggy?"

"MY HEAD'S NOT BIG!" Dib shouted his automatic response, but then immediately clamped a hand down on his mouth. But no green aliens with laser guns came running at the noise. "Hey, where's Zim?"

"I don't know. The orange girl took him someplace. She was really upset."

"Orange girl?" Dib thought for a moment, and then remembered Kae's orange eyes and clothing. "Oh, you mean the other alien."

"Yup. Kae's really nice. She gives me cupcakes and Karaoke machines. I'm gonna go make biscuits!"

"Wait! Gir, you said Kae was upset about something," Dib said. He knew how willing Gir was to obey and wondered if he could get any useful information out of him. "Do you know what it was?"

Gir stopped, and then pulled a taco out of his head and began to feast on it.

"No Gir, think. Think really hard. Why was the Orange-Girl upset?"

Gir thought really hard. You could actually see smoke coming out of his head and hear grinding. Then his head exploded from the effort. And that was the end of that conversation.

"Zim lost his PAK and needs to get it back in 7 minutes and 23 seconds or he'll die," stated a bored Computer.

"Zim's gonna _die_?" Dib exclamed.

"Only if he doesn't get his PAK back."

"WOW! All I have to do is keep Zim from getting his PAK and then I will only have to stop ONE alien from destroying the Earth! And if I can find his PAK and have a scientist analyze it, then I will have my proof! No one will call me crazy anymore! I'll be a hero!" Dib was practically bouncing up and down as illusions of grandeur filled his mind. "Ok, so, what's a PAK?"

"You're joking, right? You've only been fighting Zim for years, and you don't know what a PAK is? You've been in his base, studied his technology, and seen his insides, but you don't know what a PAK is?"

"Well," Dib started.

"Next you're going to tell me you don't know what a Smeet or a Control Brain is."

"Of course I know what those are!"

"You don't have a clue."

"Ok, I don't. Just tell me what a PAK is."

"No, I don't think I will."

"You stink."

"Actually, because I am made of metal and wires and am cleansed daily, it is impossible for me to smell badly."

"That's not what I, oh, never mind. I'm going home now." Dib left the way he came and stalked back to his house.

"Kae was right. Messing with humans' minds is quite enjoyable," the Computer stated.

* * *

Dib walked up to his house, but instead of going in the front door, he went to the garage. Inside, was Tak's stolen spaceship. He smiled (flinched a little) as he thought about everything that had happened between him and this ship. Ah, the memories.

Dib sat down in the cocpit. He had been able to disable the downloaded personality part of the ship, so neither Tak nor himself greeted/attacked him. Dib hooked his laptop up to the main system core of the spaceship and used its programming to decode the Irken text into English. He typed the work "PAK" into the search panel and read over the results.

"So, Zim's attitudey computer was telling the truth. Zim is going to die without his PAK. Let's see if I can track it down."

Dib typed a few things into his computer.

"Interference? What in the world could be causing interference?" Dib shouted at the results. "Well, maybe this is a good thing. If my Irken technology can't find it, then maybe Kae and Zim's can't either. And with very little time, Zim might not make it."

Dib smiled. This might just work out.

* * *

_There's not enough time! _Kae thought, glancing at her timer. She had just finished searching the third interference spot with no results. And her ship was almost out of fuel, because _someone_ had filled her fuel tank with tuna. And Zim's ship couldn't fit both of them in it, even if it wasn't undergoing repairs at the moment. Which meant they would have to go the rest of the way on foot. Which wouldn't be so bad if Zim hadn't passed out. Life really sucked sometimes.

Kae pulled back into the roof of her house-base and grabbed Zim from out of the back. She was surprised at how light he was. To much time without nourishment from his PAK. Kae glanced at her timer. 6:23, 6:22, 6:21, 6:20. Things were not looking very good. She got down to her underground base and ran down the hall.

"Well, at least it can't get much worse," Kae muttered to herself. Famous last words, right?

Right. "The human was here again," The computer boomed.

"Which human and how much damage was done?" Kae asked. She was only half listening.

"The big headed Dib one. And he knows Zim's PAK is missing. And he blew up Gir's head."

Guess what? It just got worse.

"Ris!" Kae shouted. The red-eyed robot appeared and saluted. Then it exploded.

"Oh, come on!" Kae shouted at the smoking heap of metal that used to be her sidekick. She grabbed what looked like a floating table without legs and laid Zim down on it, his back facing up. She then set it to follow her and ran out of the room with the table and Zim right behind her. Minimoose floated into the room.

"Squeak!"

"I know how you feel, little guy," the Computer said. "I know how you feel."

* * *

4:47, 4:46, 4:45, the clock gave the doomed little green alien no mercy as he withered away.

Kae was beginning to be very frightened. So little time left! So many places it could be! In her rush she hadn't gotten into her disguise, so there were two exposed aliens running through the streets. Her one bit of luck was that it was night, so not many people were out, and those who were couldn't see well enough to tell that the person running like her life depended on it wasn't human. With 3 minutes remaining, Kae pulled out her blaster. If anything got in her way now, she would blow its brains out. An invader _never_ left a fellow invader. Never.

She got to another interference point: the park. And wouldn't you know, there was a UFO convention being held there. Someone noticed her very inhuman eyes reflecting light. Chaos erupted as all of the humans came running at her. Kae gripped her blaster tighter. There wasn't enough time to get these freaks away from her. They weren't listening. And they got in her way. And she was a soldier. She knew how to fight. They never stood a chance. Blood soaked the ground and her clothes as Kae ran fast to search the area. Nothing. She ran for the woods.

A man stood in the shadow of a tree, waiting to mug the girl that was running at him. She had a wagon of some kind behind her, that almost looked like it was floating. But that's ridiculous. Just a trick of the light and shadows. She was fast, and very close to him now. As soon as she entered the forest, he jumped at her. The blaster didn't make much noise. His body crumpled to the ground, blood leaking out of the hole in his skull, his eyes still wide in shock of seeing green skin, antennae, orb-like eyes, and a blood covered gun aiming at his head. His mouth was still open and ready to scream. His blood soaked into the dirt.

Kae kept good on her promise to kill anything that got her way. She ran through the forest and the park. No one heard any screams, and no one stood a chance. She was a soldier in battle, trying to save her fallen comrade. And he had under a minute left in life.

* * *

She ran through the forest. There was so little time left! A glance behind her showed Zim fading away. His skin was almost brown, and was crumpling like a paper bag. He hadn't moved in a while. Kae couldn't tell if he was breathing. Sensors on the strecher she had put him on (yes, that's what the floating table thing was) showed that he was alive, but weakening by the second. Her timer showed that he had about 30 seconds left. And she still couldn't find his PAK. She searched. And she would search. Until the very last second, she would search. Even if he died, she would find his PAK. And if anyone had it, they would die in the most painful way possible. She would tear their limbs off and beat them senseless with them. Kae glanced at the Irken behind her. She had to find his PAK. No one should suffer as he was right now. Except for the person who had his PAK. But no one had it. And there were seconds left.

Seconds left. She could see the life draining out of her partner. Kae looked up to the top of the trees and saw something shiny. Something metal. Something vital to the survival of an Irken. And she ran.

0:10 seconds left.

Dib jumped in front of her. He could see Zim dieing, and he would make sure he would.

0:09

He saw the blaster raised to a death position.

0:08

He saw his life flash before his eyes. Wow, his life sucked. But he still didn't want to die.

0:07

He saw the gun fire. His last thought was that this might no have been such a good idea.

0:06

His body crumpled to the ground, smoking.

0:05

Kae didn't stop running. The tree! The PAK! So close! Not enough time!

0:04

She reached the tree and began to climb it.

0:03

The PAK was within arm's length.

0:02

She grabbed the PAK and threw it down toward Zim's back.

0:01

The PAK sailed through the air.

0:00

The PAK landed and connected to Zim's back.

0:00

Zim didn't move. Kae saw the numbers on her timer. There was no time left.

She climbed down from the tree and looked at the readings on the stretcher's sensor. Somewhere along the line, the sensor had broken.

Zim still didn't move.

Kae slid down the trunk of the tree until she was in a sitting position and stared at the Irken Invader in front of her.

He didn't move.

* * *

**OMG! Could it be? A CLIFFHANGER! I am so evil. Fear Me and all of my Cliffhanging Powers!**

****** I just want to say that I'm getting really lonely here! I have a total of (checks list) 2 reviews from only one person. ClockwerkOrange, for being my first and only reviewer, you get (drum-role) to live after I take over the world! Muhahahahaha! I mean, you get a regular human cookie! *Hand's him a cookie* Now, to everyone else who is reading this, Come on! I am just _dieing_ to know what you think of my story! Write a review! Tell me, please! Or I will explode and you will never know what happens!**

**********Wow, this is a dramatic chapter. Who's alive and who's dead? Find out in the next exciting chapter of Invader Kae! Which should be up soon!**


	4. Secrets Revealed

**I have returned with another chapter. Praise me! So, as the chapter title says, secrets will be relieved. By the way, I got the definition below from Dictionary dot com, so I did not make it up.**

* * *

Death [deth]

–noun

1. the act of dying; the end of life; the total and permanent cessation of all the vital functions of an organism. Compare brain death.

2. an instance of this: a death in the family; letters published after his death.

3. the state of being dead: to lie still in death.

4. extinction; destruction: It will mean the death of our hopes.

5. manner of dying: a hero's death.

6. (usually initial capital letter) the agent of death personified, usually represented as a man or a skeleton carrying a Grim Reaper.

7. Also called spiritual death. loss or absence of spiritual life.

8. Christian Science. the false belief that life comes to an end.

9. bloodshed or murder: Hitler was responsible for the death of millions.

10. a cause or occasion of death: You'll be the death of me yet!

11. Archaic. pestilence; plague. Compare Black Death.

That's how humans describe death. Me? I always thought of it as the end of life, plain and simple. Something everyone would eventually do, something that didn't matter so much. Now, I'm not so sure. Because now, it means so much more.

* * *

Dark. It was dark. And cold. I'm on something cold. And hard. Something cold and hard. I can't remember what happened. Where am I? Am I dead? No, I'm not dead. I passed out. But I'm not at the house. Where am I? Leaves. I can hear leaves in the wind. The park? A forest? Outside. I'm somewhere outside. Ok, lets see here, complete thoughts. I am outside somewhere where its dark and I'm laying on something cold and hard. That's better. My eyes, open my eyes. Still dark, but not as much. Forest. Definatly in a forest. Lots of trees. What happened? Movement. I think I saw movement.

"Your awake." I know that voice. Why am I so confused?

I have to move. Turn over. See who's talking. So weak. No, can't be weak. Don't show weakness. Maybe just my head. Just turn my head. I can see someone. I know that person.

"Kae." I could barely mouth the word.

"Zim."

Her face was void of any emotion. Memories began to come back, along with my strength. My PAK? I lost my PAK? But, I can feel it on right now. I don't remember what happened. Must have passed out. I'm on a mechanical stretcher. Something nagged at me. Kae seemed, odd. And she wasn't the one who just almost died. Something hit me. Dib. That little weasle must have found out about this. I know him well. He would have somehow found out. So where was he?

"Dib."

"Huh?" Kae looked up again.

"Dib. He must have found out. Where is he?"

Kae pointed toward some bushes near by. "Over there."

I was confused. There was no movement at those bushes, no flashes of a camera, no complaints about being found. But I had other things to attend to.

"Kae, what happened. You don't look very, um, good. And I was the one to almost die."

She flinched at the word "die." A soldier, flinching at the mention of death. Something was defiantly wrong.

"What is it?" I slid off my stretcher and walked over to her. The coppery small of human blood filled my senses. And covered her.

"Zim, I need to talk to you about something," She said quietly. I sat down next to her. "When an Irken needs to be born, scientists and machines combine the cell of a male and a female Irken. The Irken from which the cells are taken from is the result of many calculations. The Irkens that have desirable traits, such as hight, intelligence, or strength are going to have more smeet-cells made from them. The smeet-cell that is produced is then placed in an incubator until it is old enough and ready to live. Then they hatch and are put into training determined by what cells made them. Invaders usually breed invaders. Soldiers usually breed soldiers. And sometimes, if a certain combination works well, they make another. If they produce a smeet that grows to an Irken who is good at what they do, and they need more people to do that job, they will try again with the same original parent cells. No one knows who they share DNA with. There are very few families, and none with soldiers, invaders, body guards, or anything else that requires no emotion. Family is a weakness. And we must not show weakness."

"Yes, I know all this already. I took that course in the Academy. Now tell Zim why this bothers you so much."

"Let me finish. I was getting to that part. Anyway, the computers keep track of which Irken's cells breed which smeets. They keep them in top-secret files. One day, about a year ago, I took Ris into a repair bay on Irk. She had been injured worse than I could fix her. Afterward, I was checking over everything, make sure they hadn't made any mistakes. And I found a file in Ris's memory drive I didn't remember seeing before. I opened it. It was some of the smeet birth records."

"I still don't see what's making you upset. That was a year ago, and this just started bothering you today." Zim said.

"You don't understand, Zim. You're my brother."

* * *

"Invaders cannot know who they are related to. They're not supposed to. Family is a weakness. You cannot show weakness." Zim repeated the words that had been burned into his memory at the academy.

"I know that!" Kae almost shouted. "I didn't know what the files were when I opened and read them. And by the time I did, it was too late. The next time I took Ris to the repair bay the files were gone. The Tallest needed someone to go to Earth and aid your mission. You were on Earth. So I volunteered. And I saw you _dieing_ today, Zim. Fading fast. Painfully. And it changed me."

Zim was still in shock. He had a sister. An older sister.

"You were so weak. You were dieing, and there was nothing I could do about it. And then you didn't wake up. I thought you had _died_, Zim. You don't know how it feels to find out that you care for something only to be helpless to aid it when it needs you most."

Zim stared at Kae. He had never heard any Irken express such emotion, such weakness, let alone an Invader. He looked into her eyes and saw a pain unlike any other at the sight of his almost-dead body.

"This will stay between the two of us," Zim said.

"Agreed." Kae was beginning to pull herself back together.

Zim walked over to the bush Dib was laying in. "What did you do to him?"

"I shot him."

"He's still alive."

"What? That's impossible! I don't miss." Kae walked over to stand next to Zim. Dib was scorched pretty bad, but still breathing. "Hmmm. My blaster must be running out of fuel."

She shot at a tree. Instead of blasting a hole through it, the gun only left scorch marks.

"Oh well."

Both aliens left the forest and headed toward their base.

* * *

"Now it's my turn to tell you something," Zim said. They were sitting on the couch in the house part of his base. Kae had reassembled Ris and Gir, and both robots were currently in the kitchen.

"Ok, that seems fair."

"There is a human female I know, and I really like her."

"Gaz."

Zim sighed. "Yes, Gaz. I like her and I trust her."

"So you don't want me to hurt her."

"Or wipe her memory like you did Dib."

"Ok, you were laughing when I did that."

"I still can't believe you can't just completely wipe his memory of both of us," Zim stated.

"Aliens have been a big part of his life for too long. If I tried to erase all of it, his brain would have liquified and started leaking out his ears."

"I'm Ok with that."

"Yea, but people would notice is he suddenly went missing."

"Too bad."

There was a knock on the door. Kae stood up to answer it. She opened the door to reveal a smoking and chared Dib.

"You." He pointed an angry finger at her.

"Huh. Funny, I thought I killed you."

"You almost did!" Dib shouted.

"I can live with that." Kae shut the door in his face.

Gir ran into the room. "Guess who made Waffles?"

* * *

"I had him, Gaz, I was so close!" Dib was back at his house and ranting on about the previous night.

"Dib, if you make me lose this level, I will tear your eyes out and make you eat them," Gaz snarled.

"But, Gaz, you should have seen him! He almost died! I saw him, laying on a stretcher-thing dieing."

Gaz's eyes shot open. Dib's back was facing her, so he didn't see her startled expression.

"I'm going to take a shower." Dib stomped upstairs. Gaz dropped her game and took off out the door.

* * *

She burst into Zim's house a few minutes later. Kae had gone back down to the labs but Zim still sat on the couch with Gir.

"Gaz?"

"You almost _died_? How come I didn't know about this? What happened? Why won't you tell me?" Gaz fired question after question at the little alien.

"Yes, I didn't have time to tell you, I lost my PAK, you didn't give me time to answer." Zim tried to answer all of her questions at once.

"You lost your PAK? How do you lose something connected to your back?"

"I took it off, and then there was an explosion, and it went flying, and there was interference, and 10 minutes left and then I passed out." Zim attempted to tell her the whole story in one sentence.

Gaz narrowed her eyes. "Why did you take it off?"

"Well, you see, I needed to make this super-weapon, and-" Zim stammered.

"If you ever even think of taking your PAK off again, I will perminately cemment it to your back!" Gaz threatened.

"And I'll help," Kae said as she walked into the room. She grabbed some more waffles from Gir and went back downstairs, leaving Zim and Gaz alone again.

She walked around the underground base for a while before sitting down on a chair and just thinking about how she had ended up on Earth.

_After I found out Zim was my brother, nothing was the same ever again. Every time I saw him on the monitor, I felt emotion. Every time I thought about him, I felt emotion. An invader cannot feel emotion. Emotion is a weakness. But I needed to see him. Talk to him. Know what he was really like. So I pulled up all information I could gather on the planet Earth, and then convinced the Tallest that I could make it useful. That I could conquer it. And that I could use Zim's help. With a little bit of bribing and a few promises, they agreed. And I came to Earth. They never teach you how to react when you meet the brother you never knew you had. They never teach you what to do when someone you care about is dieing in your arms. I'm a soldier and an Invader. Not a medic. I didn't know what to do. So I told him. I told him what I knew. About the files accidentally put on Ris's memory drive. What happens now?_

Kae sighed. What did happen now?

* * *

**So, now you know. I did not kill off Zim or Dib. I still need them. If you're wondering why it took Zim so long to regain consciousness, its because he had been separated from his PAK for so long that it took a while to regenerate, even after he got it back.**

**Anywho, I made an outline of this story, and it's going to be a total of about 15 chapters long. Plus alternate endings. If all of the chapters make the cut and I don't think of any more. **

**I might not update this story as much now, because I'm making another Invader Zim story called Channels of Doom, where Zim tries to take over the world by taking over the TV. I'll start it as soon as I post this.**

**If the characters act differently from now on, blame it on these past two chapters. Extreme stress and almost dieing changes people.**

**One last thing I would like to say before I go. I just want to thank everyone for reading this story and keeping with it. Cookies for all! *Pulls out a tray of cookies and chucks them at people***

******Review are always welcome!**


	5. Information Retrieval

**This chapter is entirely done from Gir, Ris, and Minimoose's point of view. I had a major writer's block when I was writing this.**

**Ok, I know that there were some spelling mistakes in some of the last few chapters, and I'm sorry about that, and I just want to tell you that I can't spell to save my life. So if the spell-check on my computer doesn't pick it up, it will be misspelled. Oh, and I looked up the dieing vs. dyeing. And to me, it doesn't make any since. Die = the end of life, and Dye = to color something, so Dieing should = loosing life, and Dyeing should = coloring something. However, both meanings are spelled dyeing. So, yes, I made a mistake. And I'm sorry. But now you know my reasoning. And dieing doesn't come up wrong on my computer's spell-check. I will be more careful from now on.**

**IZ Quote of the Day: "Have my plans always been this lame?" ~Dib (Bad, Bad Rubber Piggy)**

******One more thing, the following part is very similar to the beginning of the episode Attack of the Saucer Morons. And when I talk in Gir's POV, the bad grammar and spelling is intentional.**

**

* * *

**I sat in the backseat of Master's ship. We were flying over a road at night. There was only one other car on this road: a human law enforcement officer's. I watched as the headlights got closer and closer. They pulled into the other lane in an attempt to avoid us, and so did we. They pulled back into the first lane, and so did we. When we came close enough to collide with it, we flew over his car. The human was so surprised, that he lost control of his car and went flying off the road and into a 'Delicious Weenies' stand.

"Human law enforcement vehicle. Markings: blue and red lighty-flashy things on top. Defensive capability: minimum." My Master began, talking into a recorder.

The car exploded and weenies flew everywhere. _I should get some of those for Gir and Minimoose,_ I thought.

"Explodes on impact with giant weenier," Master continued. "Evaluation: Pathetic. Pathetic Earth vehicle!"

The ship began beeping. "Warning? Nothing threatens an Irken Spittle Runner. Computer, run an analysis on the threat."

I looked out the front window of the ship. Something was coming into view. Something small. Something... living? Humans don't have the technology to make a living weapon. Then what could it be? The thing crashed into the ship, causing it to crash into the park. I jumped out of the ship and shot a beacon at the thing. Then I got Master out of the wreck of the ship.

"Was that a _bee_?" She asked.

"Affirmative." I answered. The beacon I had shot onto it was sending me all sorts of information about it. We watched the bee fly up into a tree and into its nest.

"Blow it up." Master ordered.

"Yes, sir." I said. We both watched as the beacon on the bee exploded and destroyed the nest and all bees in it.

"Ok," Master said, turning to look back at her ship. "The Spittle's to damaged to fly. We'll need to get a recovery vehicle from the base." She looked around. "Well, this is a fairly deserted and well hidden area. Ris," She looked at me "Go back to the base and return with a tow vehicle. And put on your cloaking device. I'll stay with the ship."

I saluted and turned my cloaking device on low. Master could still see me, but no human could. Master pulled her holographic projector out of her PAK and fastened it to her neck. She took on the appearance of a human female. I saluted again and left for the base. As soon as I got there, I brought out the tow vehicle and disguised it as a golf cart. I had seen some humans riding one a few days ago.

When I returned to the crash site, I noticed that Master was talking to an old human male. The Spittle was undisguised and uncloaked, must be too damaged for that. I watched as the man accused Master of something and jestured to the ship. She seemed to deny it. He jestured some more. She sighed and grabbed his arm and wrestled him to the ground. Then, Master pulled something out of her PAK that looked like a small bowl. With the push of a button, the bowl expanded to the size of a large hat. She thrust it onto the man's head and pushed a button. His eyes glazed over and then closed and he collapsed. Master picked up the bowl and pushed a button to make it smaller again, and put it back in her PAK. I brought the golf cart up to her.

"Good job, Ris." She said. She pushed a button on the recovery vehicle and it ate the Spittle Runner. She sat down on the golf cart and I joined her. We rode back to the base. I absently wondered how long it would be until the man woke up again and how much memory Master had taken from him.

We reached the base soon afterward. Master took off her disguise and I turned off my cloaking device. Master went down to the repair bay to fix the Spittle Runner. I looked around the upper house of the base. It wasn't very good. When we had arrived, Master and I had only been able to see the outside of humans' houses, and therefor, the outside was perfect, but the inside, to put it plainly, wasn't. It looked similar to Zim's house. A couch in front of a TV, plain white walls, and a small table with a lamp on it in the living room. A table with chairs and some basic cooking appliances in the kitchen. Master always said she would have to fix the interior someday. She just never got around to it.

I heard my name called. I have a chip in my AI brain that allows me to always locate Master and always know when she calls. So I could tell she was in the house of Zim's base. I knew a shortcut there and got to her in a few seconds. The human Dib was in the house. He had a bunch of cameras and recording devices in his hands. I could also locate many that were hidden in his clothes. One of his jacket's buttons was a camera, and there was a wire under his shirt with a microphone in it. Stuff like that. I noticed all this in a fraction of a second.

Dib's face turned really pale when I entered the room.

"Demon Robot!" Dib-human yelled as he stepped away from me.

Master looked puzzled. "I sent Ris after you weeks ago, Dib. You still remember that?"

"How could I forget! That thing almost ripped my arm off!" He shouted.

"I would like to see that." Master said. "Ris, do it again."

I jumped onto the human boy and crushed all of his recoding devices and cameras. Then I grabbed his arm. He screamed. Suddenly, Zim burst into the room. He was smoking. Master looked worried.

"Ris, quickly dispose of the human." she said. I grabbed Dib and chucked him out the window. I heard the robot lawn gnomes drag him off the property. I followed Zim and Master down to the underground base. The room was filled with water. My senses went into overdrive. Water was an unbearable acid to the Irkens. I have to protect Master. And Zim. I dived into the water and searched for the leak. There it was: A hose was poring the corrosive liquid into the base. I clogged it with something, but knew that it would only be a matter of time before the pressure built up and the hose exploded. I used x-ray enhancement to track the hose to its source. The neighbor's house. Dib-human was sitting next to it.

I ran back up to the house and outside, then up to Dib. His back was to me. He didn't see me coming. I picked him up, and smiled as I heard his heard his startled cry, and then threw him across the lawn. Then I cut the hose. Water began rushing out the cut end of it. I turned the metal handle near the house and the water stopped coming out. I turned on my cloaking device (after I realized that I never turned it on) and looked for Dib. He had ran off while I was distracted. I would have chased him, but I had to make sure Master was alright.

Zim was in the medical bay and Master had on a force shield and was draining the water. She saw me and told me I did a good job.

SIR units are meant to be water-proof, but I went to the repair bay anyway after the water was drained. Better make sure everything was running correctly. Master came in to check me and Gir (who had been caught in the water and short-circuited). She was muttering something about water and how the engineers on Vort should be making better shields against it instead of more weapons. Then she began drying out Gir.

* * *

I must obey the Taco Man. He was on TV and he said to go to Crazy Taco and get tacos. But Orange-Girl says I gotta stay in this room cuz I got hurt. But its boring here and I don't feel hurt. And I don't wanna stay here. Ris is here with me. She says she'll go get the tacos for me. But I wanna get them myself. Maybe I can go back and play in the water some more. But Ris says I can't. Awww. Water, fish, tuna, sammich, food, taco, pig! I pulled a rubber piggy out of my head. Yey! I gots my Piggy! Piggy wanna fly! So I make it fly. I want Ris to play with my. I'll give her one of my piggies. She likes to play with piggies. We's a-gonna play with the piggies! But I'm still hungry. I wanna cupcake. And I ate the one that was in my head. I miss the cupcake. Now I sad.

Orange girl and Masta come into the room. Orange-girl tells Ris something, and Ris says we can go get tacos now. But I no want tacos anymore. I wants to go dancing. Ris comes with me to the dancey-place with all the nice peoples. Ris says that the peoples can't see her cuz she has a cloaking thingie on. That's so sad. The peoples would really like Ris. Oh well. Dancing is fun.

We get a ride to the Mall when we're done. All the nice peoples giggle at me and wave goodbye. Bye-bye! I needs more piggies. Ris is still with me. She says she has to follow me around and make sure I don't destroy anything. I gets some more piggies at the farm store. I like it there. The man always likes to see me. He says he can pay his bills again. Yea! Bills! Now I gotta go get Suck Monkeys. The man there gives me chocolate bubblegum. Its mah favorite.

Masta's callin me again. He says I gotta go save him. I used mah rocket-thingies in mah feet to get to him. Masta has a giant pig monster after him. I wanna play with the pig! Ris looks all worried. I don't know why. Its a piggy! Ima gonna jump on the piggy! WHEEEE! Its runnin around like a donkey and its fun! Awwww, Orange girl fell asleep. Ris is trying to wake her up. And Masta's screaming at me real loud. He says to make the piggy eat this pill thing. I think it likes me! Now the piggy's falling asleep. And getting smaller. Awww, its cute. A little baby piggy. Orange girl waked up. She says that if Zim tells anyone she got beat by piggy, she'll be mean to him. I don't want her being mean.

Oh, I gots a cupcake. I likes cupcakes. Orange-girl says I was good. Yea! I likes to be good. I gonna go watch TV now. Ooooh, the Scary Monkey Show is on.

* * *

There was a lot of excitement today, with the Spittle crash, then the flooding, then the mutant Pig beast escape. I'm gonna go sit down on the couch and watch TV with Gir. It's the Scary Monkey Show. When it ends, I float around the house. Nothing much is happening. I go down to the underground base. Kae is in the battle simulator. Zim is experimenting with ways to block out water, since the Paste thing is really uncomfortable and the force shield is very noticeable. No one notices me. Kae comes out of the battle simulator. I go in.

The room is completely white and circular, like the inside of a ball, but with a flat floor. Then it changes its appearance. Suddenly, I'm in a calm meadow. A holographic Zim is a few feet away. Suddenly, a Tranta Beast comes into the meadow and looks like it is about to attack Zim. I know that I have access to the most advanced doomsday technology invented, but I have trouble activating it. I try to actiate my weapons. Nothing happens. I squeak out to Zim. He starts running toward me. The hologram is very life-like. I can see the Zim's muscles working as he runs. I try again to bring out my weapons. Nothing. The beast gets closer. I can't do anything. It's about to eat Zim! I automatically jump in the way. The simulation ends. I've lost, again. This isn't the first time I've been in the simulator. And it won't be the last.

As I walk out of the Battle Simulator, I think. How many times have I lost in that thing? Either my life, or someone I care about's? Why can't I work right? I had never battled a Tranta Beast before. That must have been what Kae had been fighting, since I didn't change the simulation. _If Zim really is in trouble, will I be able to save him?_ The thought scared me, since I knew the answer to that was 'probably not.'

Gir had finished witching TV and was baking cupcakes. I joined him. Besides, if I didn't, he would probably put rat poison in them and convince some poor person outside to eat them.

* * *

**I just wanted to show you what is going through the heads of the sidekicks in this story. Sorry if it's not very good. Anyway, the main points are that Ris is well-trained and obeys, Gir is still insane, and Minimoose is worried that he won't be able to protect Zim. **

**The next chapter will be a very mushy one. Hope you like romance.**


	6. Confessions of a Human Outcast

**I would just like to say that I have been waiting to make this chapter FOREVER! Long live ZAGR! Whoo!**

**Random Invader Zim Quote Of The Day! "GIR, I want to run a few tests on your artificial intelligence chip. It seems to be...bad." ~Zim (Plague of Babies)**

**

* * *

**Gaz sat on the bed in her bedroom. Her door was locked, her brother was busy, and her window was open. She sat, and she waited. But she didn't have to wait long. There were a few little tapping noises at her window and then Gir jumped in.

"Hi, Gazzy!" He shouted. Gaz couldn't hide a small smile.

"Gir, shush, don't talk so loud. Dib will hear you." Gaz glanced at her door. There was no movement.

"Masta said to give you this!" Gir said, a little more quietly, but still with a lot of energy. He handed Gaz a long white box with a bow on top.

Gaz smiled and opened the box. Inside was a beautiful black glass rose, complete with thorns. It was wrapped in several layers of bubble wrap, which didn't surprise her since Gir had been the one to bring it.

"Hey, Gir, tell your Master I said thanks." Gaz ordered. Gir saluted and jumped back out the window.

Once again, she was alone. Gaz looked at the finely crafted rose in her hand and thought about how her and Zim had come to be this close.

_It had started years ago, when Zim had first arrived on Earth. At first, he had been one of her stupid brother's lame friends. Then, he had evolved into a dumb alien who couldn't take over the world if the President-man was handing him the keys to it. Soon, the two of them had been unconsciously drawn closer to each other. First it was just laughing at Dib's pain and talking about how horrible humanity was. Then Zim would pick up something she had dropped, and she would help him up if he fell. Before long, she had begun blushing every time he touched her hand. And then one day, Gir had showed up at her window with a gift. She could still remember it. It had been one of Gir's rubber pigs. But it had been modified, like her robot dolls, to obey her and defend her whenever necessary. She had set it on her nightstand. Zim and her began to meet__ secretly. They told each other stories about their past, and she had found herself telling him things she had never told anyone before in her life. Over time, she found herself feeling something odd when Zim came into the room. A few searches on Google told her this feeling could be called love._

Gaz sighed. She knew more about that little Irken than even he did. She took another look at her glass rose before setting it on her dresser. The clock on her table told her it was pretty late. Gaz lay down on her bed and waited for sleep.

* * *

Dib wasn't in the cafeteria today. _Must have stayed home sick or something,_ Gaz thought. She had long since stopped walking with her insane brother to school. He annoyed her to much. Gaz looked around the room. Pretty much the whole skool was there. It made it less confusing to put all of the kids in one lunch period, she guessed. Gaz could see Katelyn at the popular table chatting with her 'friends.' They wouldn't be her friends any longer when she enslaved them all. Gaz smirked. Yea, she knew Katelyn was Kae, the new alien Dib always yakked about.

Zim sat down next to her. He could never do that before, because long ago, him and Gaz had decided that Dib should never know about them, due to the fact that they didn't know how he would react. So this meant that Dib really wasn't at skool today.

"Alright, what did you do to him?" Gaz asked. Zim had to have done something to Dib. Otherwise they would still be trying to catch each other's eye from across the room, even if he was home sick. No use taking chances.

"Whatever do you mean?" Zim said in mock confusion.

"You know what I mean. Dib. What did you do to him?"

"And why would you like to know that?" He smiled.

"Because I like to know when my brother is in pain."

"He's in some pain."

"Just answer the stupid question." Gaz couldn't take this game much longer.

"I infected him with a virus. He'll be sick for a while." Zim smiled again.

"How long?"

"How long would you like?" So it was an Irken engineered virus that Zim could control. That makes since.

"We'll see." Gaz said.

Both ate in silence. Well, Gaz ate her bag lunch and Zim poked at the grey stuff they call food on his lunch tray. It wasn't an awkward silence. Neither of them had anything they would like to say to the other in public. The bell rang and everyone left for their classrooms.

* * *

Gaz sat on her bed again. Zim usually sent stuff every couple of days, but she liked to wait every day and find out. She was dressed in a long black nightgown. Her door was locked, Dib was downstairs on the couch watching Mysterious Mysteries, and the window was open. For a while, the only noise was the nighttime wind outside. Then there were a few tapping sounds at her window. Gaz looked hopefully toward it, but Gir wasn't there. Zim was.

He slid through the window and stood by her. Gaz smiled. Zim smiled. They both sat down on her bed. Zim spoke first.

"Gaz, why do you act like this?" Gaz knew what he meant. She lived her whole life in video games, away from human interaction. But when she was with him, she opened up.

And Gaz spoke. She spoke because someone was listening and caring. She spoke because she wanted him to know.

"Zim," She began. "As strange as this may sound, all my life, I've never felt at home. Never felt like I belonged. My father never cared for me. Sure, he can fake it. But he doesn't really care. His real love is science. Not his children. He only keeps me and Dib around because it gives him good credit to be a single father raising children while being the hero of the world. Dad never even told me who my mother is. I never met her, if I even have one. And Dib, he doesn't care either. He studies some stupid paranormal crap while I'm stuck in the real world with no one. He tried to bring me along a few times, tried to include me. I could tell it was because Dad had told him to. He never cared. No one ever did. I was always an outsider, an outcast. I was lonely. But then I made a decision: I would be strong. If no one cared about me, then I wouldn't care about them. I got stronger, more aggressive. I was determined to survive in this cold, unfeeling world. But I was still lonely, so I buried myself in video games. Gave everyone around me a reason that I ignored them. Games were my only escape from the real world. The only way I could ignore all of my feelings. My only comfort. But then I got to know you, Zim, and I finally felt right. I finally belonged. It's so strange: it's almost like I was ment to be in your world instead of mine. And now, I think I love you, Zim."

The room was quiet for a few seconds. Gaz had finally let loose everything she had been feeling.

"Kiss me." Zim said softly.

"What?" Gaz's voice was soft but startled.

"That is how your species show affection, isn't it?" Zim looked into Gaz's black eyes.

"Yea, but-" Gaz never finished, because right then, Zim had pulled her toward him into a deep kiss. The world exploded into fire and color. It was beautiful. Gaz thought that it was amazing. It felt like fire danced across her skin. _My first kiss_, was the only thought that could pass through her mind. Both human girl and Irken boy sat on a bed, happily putting their love into a kiss.

And that was how they were when Dib found them.

* * *

When Dib had opened up his sister's door, he hadn't been thinking about how much Gaz would hurt him for entering her room, but about how he had found Zim's ship outside. The last thing he had been expecting to see would have been his little sister making out with his arch-nemesis.

Both lovers immediately looked up when they heard the door open. Zim and Gaz stared at Dib for a few seconds. Normally, Dib would have been using this opportunity to capture as many pictures of Zim as possible (he wasn't wearing his disguise), but not now. Zim was all over his _sister_.

Dib was still not feeling well, but his mind was able to get out one coherent thought: _Forget dissecting him! I'm going to kill that thing!_

But his body wouldn't respond to him. All Dib could do was stare at his sister in the evil hands of Zim in shocked silence.

Zim pushed the Com button on his wrist. "Kae? How many times have we wiped Dib's mind?"

"Twice." Came the reply. "One more time and his brain will probably turn to mush."

Zim ended the call and looked at Gaz.

She shrugged. "That's a risk I'm willing to take."

Zim reached behind him and pulled a small bowl-shaped object out of his PAK. He pushed a button on it and it expanded to the size of a large hat. Seeing this woke Dib out of his funk.

Dib jumped at Zim, knocking him to the ground. He may be sick, but he was hyped up on adrenalin and the need for revenge.

Gaz grabbed him from behind and held his arms behind his back.

"How dare you!" Dib cried. "Brainwash my sister, and then make out with her! I'll kill you! I'll kill you!" He fought like a madman. Gaz held him as still as possible.

Zim stood up and slammed the bowl thing onto Dib's head. Then he pushed a button on it. Dib's eyes glazed over as the memories of the past few minutes were erased. Then he passed out. Gaz dragged him to his room and left him on the floor there. She returned to her room and looked at Zim.

"I should probably be going now." He said.

"Wait, can I come over to your base tomorrow morning?" Gaz asked.

"It's a Skool day." Zim said.

"I'll skip."

"So will I."

They smiled at each other again. Zim walked over to the window and hopped out. Gaz could hear the Voot fly away.

* * *

They were finally alone. Zim and Gaz sat in one of the underground base's chambers. Kae was at Skool, Ris was keeping Gir and Minimoose busy, and Dib was too sick to leave his house.

Zim and Gaz snuggled close together on the couch Zim had brought from the house.

"Zim, do you love me?" Gaz asked. She needed to know.

"I'm not sure." Zim answered. "On my planet, there is no word for 'love.' But there is a belief that for every Irken, there is someone else out there that makes you feel amazing. Someone that you would jump in front of a laser for, someone you would fly to the ends of the universe to make happy. I've heard that when you find this person, you know it. You want to be with them every single nanosecond for the rest of your life. The two people can then connect in a special way, often refered to as mating. When you find your mate, suddenly life is so much better than before."

"You say it like you know this feeling."

"I do."

"Kae." Gaz whispered the word.

"What?"

"Kae. I've seen the way she looks at you. She's your mate." As Gaz said the words, she felt tears well up in her eyes.

"No, not at all. Kae and I are partners, that's it." Zim saw the way Gaz looked at him. She didn't believe that for a second. Zim sighed. "Kae and I are not mates. Kae is my sister." Zim said the only thing that would make Gaz believe him, even if he had promised to never tell anyone.

Gaz stared into his large red eyes. "I thought that Irkens didn't know who they were related to."

"We're not supposed to, which is why you can't tell anyone, Irken or not. Understand?"

"Yea. So, if you don't want to mate with Kae, does that mean you want to mate with..." Gaz couldn't bring herself to finish.

"You." Zim finished for her.

Gaz looked up at him and smiled. Zim didn't, though.

"Gaz, on my planet, it is illegal, and, well, impossible to mate with someone from another species." Zim said sadly. Gaz's smile disappeared.

"So we can't be together." Gaz stated._ I have to be strong. _ Gaz thought. _Do not cry, be strong. Just because the one person in the universe who makes you feel at home can't be with you doesn't mean you have to turn into a little crybaby._

"Well, actually," said a voice from behind them. Both Zim and Gaz jumped and turned to face the intruder. Kae stood in the doorway.

"How long have you been there?" Zim asked.

"Long enough." she answered.

"Aren't you supposed to be at Skool?" Gaz narrowed her eyes.

"I ate some stuff at lunch and took a pill. Then I started regurgitating and the nurse sent me home."

"She didn't examine you?"

"Not after I puked on her." Kae looked at her brother and his would-be mate. "Anyway, back to business. I know of something that may help you two out."

Zim and Gaz looked at each other. The could see the hope spark in the other's eyes.

"There have been a few cases where Irkens have found mates outside their species before." Kae continued. "When this happened to a scientist, he developed a machine that would be able to transfer the consciousness of another species into the body of an Irken. He also developed a way to grow an Irken body using the DNA from the other species. The machine is supposed to be a secret and is only used in special situations." Kae closed her eyes and opened them again. "I have a lot of security clearance. I think I can get the machine and grow Gaz an Irken body."

The reactions were amazing. Gaz jumped into the air laughing and Zim caught her. He pulled he close and kissed her. Kae needed only to see the smile on his face to know she had done something right. She left the room and began pulling up the necessary communications to get that machine delivered.

* * *

Zim and Gaz had finally calmed down. They were alone again and sitting on the couch. Zim had decided to tell Gaz everything she would need to know to be Irken.

"Most of the stuff you need to know will be downloaded on your PAK." He started. "However, not everything. Ask me anything you need to know."

"You said something before that it was impossible to mate with someone who wasn't Irken?" Gaz phrased it like a question.

"Irkens mate by connecting their PAKs in a certain way that lets the two become closer than ever before. Humans don't have PAKs, and if they tried to put one on, it would destroy them. The human body cannot handle a PAK." Zim stated.

Kae walked into the room. "Sorry to bother you two, but I need Gaz's DNA."

"Will it hurt?" Gaz found herself asking. _It doesn't matter._ She thought._ I will do anything to be with Zim._

"Getting the DNA? It shouldn't. Open your mouth." Kae said. Gaz opened her mouth. Kae held up something that looked like a cotton swab and swabbed the inside of her mouth. "Ok, done."

Gaz stopped Kae before she could leave again.

"How long until me and Zim can be together?" she asked.

"Well, the machine might take a few weeks to get here. However, growing your new body should be easy enough. I can make it grow quickly to the correct age and then age normally again. I'm having a PAK delivered for it. The PAK should be here soon."

"So, a few weeks?"

"Maybe sooner."

"I would have thought that the Irkens wouldn't like having other species turned into them." Gaz said, more to herself that to Kae.

"Well, Irkens take mating really seriously, plus one of the previous Tallest found her mate with a Vortian." Kae explained. She then turned and left the two alone again.

* * *

**Zim and Gaz are happy now! Yea! **

**I have a few short stories I am working on. If I decide they are good, I will post them.**

**I am going to have a contest now! Whoever can correctly guess how I came up with Ris's name will win (drum-role)... a cookie made by Gir!***

***Warning: cookie may not be edible. No one is really sure what Gir puts in them. Neither Gir nor I are responsible for any injuries attained from the cookie. Even if you didn't eat it. You have been warned.**


	7. Sleep Mode

**The first person to answer the question correctly was ClockwerkOrange. Here is your cookie. *Hand's him something that looks kind of like a cookie***

**If you are still wondering at the answer, wait a few chapters. I'll put it in somewhere, eventually.**

**Ok, you don't even want to know how the idea for this chapter got started. But I will tell you anyway. My friend's sister told my friend that there was an episode of IZ where Gir went into Sleep Mode and had a dream (which is part of the dream described in the chapter, so I won't say it here) but she LIED! So I am using and expanding on the idea. Yea me.**

**IZ Quote! "I had a sammich in my head!" ~Gir (Mortos der Soulstealer)**

**

* * *

**"Congratulations, class, you are now Hi-Skoolers. You will be forced to continue your horrible existence here at the Hi Skool." Ms Bitters told the class. "Now go home."

The class filed out of the room. Kids talked to each other in little groups outside.

"I can't believe we're still stuck with Ms Bitters for Hi Skool," Jessica complained.

"Yea, and who're brilliant idea was it to cancel summer vacation?" Zita asked.

"And why do we have to start Hi Skool so late?" Katelyn chimed in. "I heard that it used to start in 9th grade or something."

The girls continued to talk. Zim and Dib walked out of the Skool, staring each other down. Zim reached behind him and Dib heard his PAK open. Dib took off in the other direction. Zim snickered. Then he and Gaz made for the dark ally behind the Skool for a little alone time.

* * *

Zim ran into the room where Kae was overseeing some of the experiments and marking their progress.

"Kae, something's wrong with Gir." He said.

"Oh, it can't be that bad. He's a robot, he'll be ok." Kae didn't even look up.

"He's not eating the tacos Minimoose got him."

That got Kae moving. "Where is he?"

"Up in the house."

Both Irkens ran up to Zim's house. Gir sat in the living room, unmoving. An untouched bag of tacos sat next to him. Minimoose looked at his friend, a worried expression on his purple face.

Gir looked strange. His eyes weren't the usual bright blue. Instead they were dark and almost grey. He didn't move, and he didn't speak, but the machine Zim had hooked up to him said he wasn't malfunctioning any worse than usual. Kae called Ris into the room.

"Ris, analyse Gir's condition."

Ris looked Gir over for a few seconds. "Analysis complete." She said. "Gir is in Sleep Mode."

Kae and Zim looked at each other, both silently asking the other what Ris meant by 'Sleep Mode.'

"Ris, define Sleep Mode." Zim ordered.

"Sleep Mode: when a SIR unit shuts down its conscience thought and remains motionless for a usually small amount of time in order to recharge once every couple of years. Later models do not go into Sleep Mode." Ris explained.

"How long will it last?" Kae asked.

"Can last between 30 minutes to 48 hours." Ris answered.

"Is there a way to tell how long Gir will be like this?" Zim said.

"Negative."

"Great" Zim muttered under his breath.

Then, Gir began to change. The blue square on his chest expanded until it was as wide as it could go. Then the blue faded away and it went fuzzy.

"What's going on?" Kae said.

"Gir is having an advanced function that allows him to see a series of mental images and emotions that occur during his Sleep Mode and are being displayed on his monitor." Ris stated.

"We're seeing his dreams." Zim translated. "Neat."

"Wait, so we are going to be watching Gir's deepest thoughts like you would TV?" Kae asked. Ris nodded. "I'll go make some popcorn."

Kae walked into the kitchen while Zim, Ris, and Minimoose sat down in front of Gir. Popping noises were heard in the kitchen, then Kae came back out with four bags of Irken popcorn.

Gir's screen began to change. It showed _a land made entirely of cupcakes. There were even happy cupcake people. Dream Gir ran into the picture and frolicked happily in Cupcake Land. He smiled and danced and stuffed his face._

Kae, Zim, Ris, and Minimoose munched on their popcorn, staring hypnotized to the screen.

_Gir smiled and laughed in his happy, cupcakey world. Suddenly, They sky darkened. The cupcake people scattered. Gir ran away and hid. He was terrified._

The group stared in awe, gasping at the sights.

_Giant evil muffins invaded the planet. Cupcakes ran and hid, but muffins always found them. Before long, there was only crumbs left, scattered across the world. The muffins left. Gir watched the whole thing from his hiding place._

"I am never going to eat another muffin again," Zim said. "Ditto," Kae stated, eyes wide.

_Gir ran back to his world. Everything was ruined. He sank to his knees and cried out in horror. "NOOOOOOOOO!"_

There was a crash as Dib broke the window. He jumped in. "I have you now, Space-Boy, and, uh, Space-Girl!" He shouted. The Irken group shushed him. Dib was surprised by their reaction. "Hey, what are you doing?" he asked.

"Gir's in Sleep Mode and his dreams are being projected on his torso," Kae answered. She didn't look up.

"Gir's dreams? I have to see this." Dib sat down behind Kae and stared at Gir's screen.

_He was still in his ruined world. He sat and cried, until a rubber piggy fell from the sky and landed next to him. The crumbs disappeared. Gir squealed and hugged the piggy. More fell from the sky. He laughed and ran in circles._

"Whoa." Dib said.

_The piggies came alive. They danced with Gir and ran with him. He was happy again. All was alright with his world._

"First cupcakes, then muffins, now rubber piggies." Zim said. Minimoose squeaked.

_A large purple portal of doom came out of the ground. The piggies were slowly sucked into it, one by one. _

"My space-time object replacement device." Zim murmured.

"You built one of those?" Dib asked. "Wow, Zim, even I didn't think you were that stupid."

"Ok, you two, I wanna see this, so shut your sound holes before I shut them for you," Kae threatened.

_Gir ran around in a panic. He tried to save the piggies. But he couldn't. Then a big metal boy of doom came up out of the ground. Gir screamed and ran. The metal boy followed him._

"Good job, Dib, you mentally scarred Gir in an alternate reality." Kae said. Dib just stared at the screen.

_Gir didn't have anywhere else to run. He was backed up against a wall. The big metal robot boy walked up to him menacingly._

Everyone tensed. Gaz walked in the room. "What are you doing?" she asked. No one answered. She walked behind them. "Are those Gir's dreams? Ok, I'm staying." She sat down.

_The robot boy started dancing. Gir laughed and danced with it. Then it disappeared. He ran back around his world a little longer._

"Hey, can I have some popcorn?" Dib asked. "No," came the reply. "Can I?" asked Gaz. Zim handed Gaz half of his. Gaz stuck her tongue out at Dib.

_Random food rained down from the sky. Gir screamed in delight. Then a giant karaoke machine came out of the ground. Gir ran up to it and started singing._

Everyone lunged for some ear plugs.

_After singing karaoke, Gir saw something that looked like a ghost. He must have seen it on TV. He tried to catch it._

"But that't my job!" Dib said.

"Nobody cares, Dib," Gaz snarled.

_He ran around chasing the ghost. Gir finally caught it and ate it. Then he ran to a restaurant. Everyone there was a giant weenie. They cheered when he entered. Sparkles fley around the room._

"Weird." Gaz said.

"It's Gir," Kae explained. "What did you expect?"

_Gir tried to catch the sparkles. Then he ate some of the waffles one of the weenie waiters was bringing out. They were shaped like donuts. Gir ran onto the stage and began to dance. Everyone clapped and cheered him on._

No one could have moved if the house was on fire.

_His backup dancers came onto the stage. They were all in chicken suits. When Gir saw this, they morphed into real chickens and Gir chased them around the stage. When he caught them, he dipped them in mustered and ate them._

"I will never look at that little robot the same way again," Minimoose squeaked. There were a few murmurs of agreement from the group.

_Gir walked outside the restaurant again. Everything disappeared. Only Gir remained, standing in a world made of brownish stone. The ground was level, and went in all directions as far as the eye could see. Gir stopped moving._

The doorbell rang. Nobody moved to answer it. Screams were heard outside. "Hey! I can see you in there! Open the door! I'm the Pizza Guy! I'm on a schedule!"

_The ground began to shake. A crazy smile widened on the insane robot's face._

"Just open the stinking door already!" The Pizza man cried. No one moved. Not even Gaz.

_Popcorn rained down from the sky. Gir laughed. He opened his mouth to the sky. Then he jumped into a pile of popcorn like a child would a pile of freshly raked leaves._

The Pizza man kicked open the door and started shouting at the group. Gaz picked up Gir's bag of tacos and chucked it at the man. It hit his head hard and he fell like a rock.

_Small holes appeared in the ground. Tacos jumped out and started dancing. Gir shoved as many as possible in his mouth._

"So much food." Zim said.

"Great, now I'm hungry," Kae muttered.

_Now real piggies ran into the world. Gir yelped happily and jumped one a really big one. He rode it like a horse._

"Ris, is there a way to wake up Gir?" Kae asked, just wondering.

"Negative." Came Ris's reply.

_"I gonna be a Mongoose now!" Gir cried. He turned into a mongoose. And mimicked a squirrel. Everything around him disappeared, and squirrels replaced them._

The Pizza guy woke up and really looked around for the first time. "Aliens!" He screamed. Then he noticed that no one seemed to care. "Hey what are you watching?" He sat down behind the group.

_Zim walked into the picture. _

Zim stared, horrified.

_Zim walked up to Gir. "I love you, Gir! You are the best SIR unit ever." He said. He had a goofy smile on his face. Gir jumped onto his master's head._

"Hey, can I have some pizza?" Gaz asked the Pizza guy. He hands her the box.

_"I luv you, too, Masta!" Gir shouted. He hugged Zim and then jumped down. He ran over to a stove (that had just magically appeared) and made Zim some waffles._

Everyone 'awwwww!'-ed at Gir. He was so cute when he was trying to make Zim happy.

_Zim happily ate the waffles. Then he started dancing with Gir. He shouted, "Dance like a Monkey!"_

Zim groaned. Everyone else suppressed giggles.

_Zim and Gir stopped dancing, and Minimoose floated in. He squeaked and gave Gir a Suckmonkey. It was the size of a skyscraper._

"Gir is completely insane." Zim said. There were a few mumbled 'uh huh's.

_He finished his drink and sat down on the ground. Then he looked up very fast. "I just remembered something!" He exclaimed._

No one could resist the power of Gir. He was so cute and happy. No one could look away.

_"Masta said I could get the moon after he taked over the Earth!" Gir started bouncing up and down. "I want da Moon now!"_

"You promased Gir the moon?" Kae asked.

"Yup." Zim said.

"Sorry, Ris, I guess you can't have it." Kae said, glancing at Ris. The robot looked a little sad.

_The planet Gir was on changed to look like Earth. Zim ran onto the screen and shouted, "Earth, you are now MINE!" Everyone on the planet said, "Zim taked over the Earth."_

Zim smiled. Dib frowned. Zim stuck his tongue out at Dib.

_Gir launched himself into space and onto the moon. He__ laughed in delight. Cupcakes and rubber piggies ran onto the moon. He smiled even bigger and ran around. "I'm gonna explode now!" He shouted. Then he exploded._

The screen fizzled out, then turned light blue again. Then it shrank back to the normal size. Gir's eyes went back to their usual cyan. He smiled, springing back to life.

"Hi's everybody!" He shouted. "Did you see my sleepy thoughts?"

"Yes, yes we did, Gir." Zim said, a little shaken. Everyone began to stand up and stretch.

"How long was Gir asleep?" Dib asked.

Kae looked at the clock. "About 5 hours."

People looked around. It was dark outside. Someone moaned.

"Wait, you're aliens!" The Pizza guy shouted. Everyone turned to look at him. He started freaking out.

"Yes! They are aliens!" Dib cried. "Wait, when did you get here?"

Ris walked behind the Pizza guy and wacked him on the head. He passed out.

"Great," Kae muttered. "Now I have to wipe his memory."

"You can erase people's memories?" Dib said, startled.

"Yup."

"So, why didn't you just wipe mine?"

"We did. Three times now." Zim said casually.

"What!"

"We would completely erase it, but your brain would liquefy in the process, and a body with brain leaking out its ears would be suspicious." Kae said. "And people would notice if you just disappeared."

Dib wasn't sure whether to be happy or horrified.

"Gir, would you like to go make some waffles?" Ris asked.

Gir happily squealed. Him and Minimoose ran into the kitchen.

"Wait, you can talk?" Dib exclaimed.

"Affirmative." Ris stated. "But not like you do. Do you ever shut up?"

"Well, I guess now I can go back to saving the world and stuff." Dib said, ignoring Ris's comment.

"Why?" Kae asked.

"What do you mean why?"

"Why save a world where no one likes you?" She asked.

"Because it's my world, and I don't want it destroyed."

"We're not destroying your world, Dib-Beast, you are." She said. "Have you ever taken the time to walk the streets and count all of the trash you see? You have vehicles that produce so much carbon dioxide that your atmosphere is thickening at an alarming rate. Your water supply is being polluted, your planet's species are dying out, you cut down vital plants so you can make tooth picks. You have a flirken Cesspool in the center of your town. I've done a simulation on this planet: if things don't change dramatically very soon, the Earth will be uninhabitable within the next hundred years. And humans are too blind to get up and change things. So we're changing things for them. Would you rather the planet be a wasteland or a useful place for another species that needs it? Humans are the ones destroying the Earth. Irkens are saving it. " Kae let the info sink in. "Chew on that, Dib."

Dib just stared at the Irken girl in shock. He could not deny that logic.

"The truth hurts, doesn't it, Dib-monkey." Zim said mockingly.

Ris then pushed Dib out the door and slammed it in his face.

"Well, I'm going back to the lab. I want to run a few tests on Gir and see how much he's changed." Kae said. She walked into the kitchen.

"Want me to walk you home?" Zim asked Gaz.

She smiled. "What if Dib sees us?"

"Filthy slug." Zim cursed under his breath.

Gaz smiled again. "I'll be ok walking home by myself. There's no need to be overprotective." She headed over to the door and walked out. Zim watched her leave from the window. Then he went into the kitchen. He was craving waffles.

Ris was the only one left in the room. She looked down at the camera she had stolen from Dib. Then Ris ran over to the TV and hooked it up. She sat down to watch Gir's dream again.

* * *

**I had a massive mind block while writing this. Gir's dream never seemed long enough, so I had to keep adding more stuff to it. Originally, it was just the cupcakes and muffins part in the beginning. And then after I finished the first draft, I reread it and realized I made Gir _serious_. So I had to rewrite most of the chapter.**

**Oh, by the way, I'm going to be doing some stuff for the next few weeks, so I'm not sure is I will be able to post as much. And then after that there is Skool. But I will try to find time in my very busy schedule.**

**One more thing. I would just like to thank everyone who actually takes the time to read these author's notes each chapter. Have a Spider Ring *hands you a cheep spider ring worth 2 tickets at an arcade***

**I have nothing else to say. That is so unlike me. I usually never stop talking/writing. My Pak must need an update.**


	8. A Day in the Life of Dib

**I didn't really look over the last chapter too much, so if there are some mistakes, I'm sorry. Once again, I am very busy, but I will NEVER leave this story until it is finished. **

**In the last chapter where Kae talks about saving/destroying the world and stuff, she is just messing with Dib's mind. She could actually care less.**

**This chapter is done almost entirely from Dib's point of view. **

**RIZQOTD (Random Invader Zim Quote of the Day): "By the way, it's not called 'Parent Teacher Night', it's called Zim doom, parent, Zim doom, Zimmy doom night. Heheheh! Watch out for that puppy." ~Dib in Zim's thought bubble (Parent Teacher Night)**

**

* * *

**

I woke up in the morning at 7:00 sharp, like I always do. After I wake up, I go downstairs for some breakfast. Sometimes Gaz is there, but usually not. She and I don't get along so well anymore. Not that we ever really did, but now it's worse. I have some Count Cocofang's with milk. Then I go back upstairs and get dressed. Then I walk to Skool. And that is where my life stops being normal.

My name is Dib Membrane, son of the famous Prof. Membrane. I am a paranormal expert and plan to be a paranormal investigator when I graduate collage. A boy in my class is an alien who wants to take over the world. Trust me on this. I've seen him without his horrible disguise. I have been saving the planet from him since elementary skool. Only recently has another alien showed up. This one's a girl, I think. I know she goes to the Skool, too, but I can't seem to find her. But I will, for I am the sole defender of Earth, our only hope for survival!

The girl's name is Kae. She says that she is really good at taking over worlds. So I have to be better. Yesterday she did another one of her mind tricks on me. I really need to stop listening to her.

Anyway, I've reached Hi Skool now. There is Zim, the alien. He makes me so mad! Why can't anyone ever see him for who he is? Why does no one find it weird and, wait for it, ALIEN that he is green, has no ears or nose, and is all around strange? What is wrong with them?

Here comes Katelyn. She transferred to my skool from Washington. She is really pretty and very popular. She's my tutor. I really like her.

I walk up to the Skool building and head inside. I like to get to the room early. It gives me time to analyze it to make sure Zim didn't tamper with anything. Once he mutated the hamster. It grew larger than a building, ate almost everything, and destroyed everything it didn't eat. I am not going to let something like that happen again.

The room looks clean. I can't find any obvious signs of alien tampering. The bell rings. Everyone pores in. The day at skool is uneventful. I am shoved into my locker once and got two wedgies. The second one got caught by a teacher. Torque got a detention. I'm lucky the teacher wasn't Ms Bitters. If it was, I would have gotten the detention and Torque would have gotten an A.

After skool is when my life gets really interesting.

* * *

Once a week I am tutored by Katelyn. Today is one of those days. But I still have a few hours before she comes. So I sneak over to Zim's base to spy on him. I have yet to find out where Kae's base is. I just know it is connected to Zim's. The two of them are partners or something.

Anywho, today I brought my Dad's cloaking jacket. I'm hoping it will shield me enough to get into the base. Last time I tried this, I spoke and got caught. Oops. This time will be different.

I carefully step up to my enemy's house. The second I step onto the property, all of the robot gnomes turn and face me. I guess Kae really did upgrade them. Now they can see in infrared, which is much harder to cloak. The gnomes beegin shooting at me. I run. Fast.

Ok, I need another way in. So I go around back for a change. Thinking back, I wonder why I never did this before. There's no back door, but I am able to slide in a window Gir left open.

Now I'm in the kitchen. No is there. The house seems pretty quiet. I look around the room. I know of two different entrances to the real underground base. The trash can and the toilet. I have to be unpredictable. Zim will expect me to be grossed out by the toilet and take the trash can. So I'll take the toilet.

Easier said than done. When you spend your entire life doing your duty in a toilet, you find that shiny white bowl to be repulsive. Even though it looks clean, it takes a lot of courage to step inside. And even more to flush.

The one good thing is that there is no water in the bowel. After all, water burns Irkens like acid. So that made the journey a little less revolting.

This is when my day is completely ruined.

One little bit of advice for everyone with a large head: Don't flush yourself down a small toilet. Your head will get stuck.

Once I realized I was stuck, I thrashed around a little, trying to get loose. All I managed to do was turn off my cloaking jacket. You know, there really isn't anything much worse than having your head get stuck in your arch-enemy's toilet. Especially if that enemy is an alien plotting to destroy the planet. And want's you dead.

* * *

As you can imagine, it was pretty bad when Zim came in the door and saw me sticking out of his base's entrance. And even worse when he couldn't get me out. In the end, Ris (the demon-robot that looks a little like Gir but with red eyes and actually concentrates and does what Zim and Kae say) was called in and brutally yanked me out. It hurt. And then the robot threw me out the window, where I was attacked by the lawn gnomes. I can tell you this: I am never using that entrance again.

However, I had not given up. I will get into Zim's base. I do basically the same thing as before, only this time I take the trash can. At least I didn't get stuck. But I was still in an unfamiliar part of Zim's base. I decided to try and find Kae's base. If I knew where her house was, I could figure out who she was. Then it would be so much easier to stop her.

As I wander around, I don't see Zim, but I do meet up with Gir.

"Hi, Big-Head!" The robot shouts.

"Shhh, Gir." I said to him. "Say, do you know where Kae's base is?"

"Yup!" The oblivious SIR unit shouts. "It's over that ways!" He pointed to a hallway I hadn't been down yet.

"Thank's, Gir. Oh, and don't tell anybody I was here."

"Okey-dokey!"He shouted, and then ran off. I smiled. Gir could see him through his cloaking jacket, but could always be relied on for help. If you knew how to say it.

I walked down the corridor Gir had pointed out. As I thought about it, the robot could have been lying, or just wrong. But it was the best lead I had. The hall took me to a section of the base that was obviously different. It had a completely different design, but still had that Irken feel to it. Kae's base? Probably.

I could hear movement in another room. I quietly snuck in, hoping no other robots were there. There weren't any I could see. However, there was an Irken. It had a feminine quality to it, with eyelashes and curly antennae, so I had always assumed it a girl. Like I assumed Tak was a girl. The alien who was in the room was named Kae. So this _is_ her base.

I stood behind her a little ways back. Hopefully I could get some good information out of this. Maybe some of her species' weaknesses, or what her evil plan is, or-

She turned around and looked strait at me.

"That has got to be the worst excuse of a cloaking device I have ever seen." She said. I'm frozen in place. She sighs.

"Gir!" She called.

Gir? She was calling for Gir? Why in the world would she be-

"You'll see." Kae said, a slight smile on her face. So I was thinking out loud again. I really have to stop doing that.

"Yes, you do." Kae said. She had turned back to her work. From my position, I couldn't see what she was doing.

Gir walked into the room. "Yes?" He was holding something that was probably at one point some kind of food.

"Gir, Dib is holding a taco in his head hostage. If you can get it out, you can eat it." Kae said.

As you can imagine, I, knowing how much Gir likes tacos, ran. I had a hungry taco-crazed insane robot behind me that wanted to rip open my head. So I ran. Screaming. I didn't know where any exits were in Kae's base, so I had to abandon all hope of finding out who she was and run back to Zim's. He saw me. And laughed.

So I am running from a crazy robot screaming my head off while my enemies watch and laugh. I've done more embarrassing things in my lifetime. Even running out onto the street with Zim's neighbor watching could have been worse. I looked behind me and saw that Gir was now in his Dog suit. When did he get into that? I was finally able to ditch him at McMeaties. That robot can get distracted by just about any food. Apparently including the one he thought was in my head. Oh well.

By now, it was getting late I had to go back to my house. Katelyn would be coming over soon. When I got home, Gaz is sitting on the couch playing her video game. She looks up at me.

"Tonight's when Kate comes over, right?" she asks.

"Yea." I say.

"Later." Gaz said. She then stomps out the door. I'm left there just staring. Every time Katelyn comes over, she leaves. I think it has to do with the first time she came over to tutor me when I forgot Gaz had ordered a pizza. I still have scars from that, and Gaz never really forgave me. Oh well.

The doorbell rings. I run over to the door and open it. Katelyn stands there in all her glory, holding a few books.

"Hi." She says cheerfully.

"Hi." I say back. We go into the living room and get set up at the table.

"Today we're going to work on Math." Katelyn said, opening a book.

[Dib then goes through his entire session with Katelyn. Because I'm sure you don't want to learn about geometry, I will spare you from having to read it. ~Crazygirl313, Author]

* * *

After my tutor leaves, I am left alone in the house. With nothing else to do, I go upstairs and sit down at my computer.

"Now is a perfect time for me to test the camera I hid in Zim's base while I was there and no one was looking." I look at the reader. "Not even you." Creepy, huh?

I turn on my computer and connect to my camera. The computer establishes a link, and I see the inside of Zim's base.

"Yes! It works!" I shout.

Zim and Kae walk onto the screen from the right. They stare at something off-screen.

_"Do you really think this will work?" Zim asked._

_"We're about to find out." Kae says. She holds up a controller and pushes a button. Both Irkens' eyes go wide._

_"Is it supposed to do that?" Zim asked._

_"I don't think so, but it sure is cool." Kae answered. There is a bubbling, guggling noise from off-camera. The Irkens gasp._

_Kae pulls out a pad of paper and begins to hastily write things down. "Oh, man. Experiment 162 is having strange affects."_

"They have a test subject!" I shouted. "No!"

_"Zim, where did you put the fire extinguisher?" Kae asked, sounding a little nervous._

_"Over there." Zim said, pointing to something to the left, also off-screen. "Why?"_

_"Because anything that is generating that much heat is going to catch on fire." Kae said. And then there was a roar and fire came spewing out of something and onto the screen. Kae ran off and came back with something that vaguely resembled a fire extinguisher. She sprayed it onto the flames that instantly died._

_"Whoa." Zim said. "Experiment 162 is defiantly dead."_

_"Wanna try #56?" Kae asked._

_"Oh yea. Go get it."_

_Kae ran off and after a few moments came back. "It's all set." Both looked off-screen again._

"You monsters!" I exclaimed. "What are you doing to those people?"

_"You do it this time." Kae said, handing Zim the controller._

_"Ok." He pushed a button. There was a massive explosion that blew the Irkens back against a wall. _

_"I did not see that coming." Kae said, stumbling back up._

_"No, but that was fun!" Zim shouted. "Lets do 17."_

_"Fine with me."_

As you can imagine, I was completely freaking out by now.

_"By the way, how's Nick doing?" Kae asked._

_"Oh, just fine." Zim answered. "He's right over there." Zim pointed to something I couldn't see._

_There was a flash of intense light._

_"Wow," Kae said. "Nice work, Zim."_

_"Thank you."_

_"Ok, back to 17." The two turned to their specimen._

_"Why don't you do it?"_

_"You do it."_

_"No you do it."_

_"You're acting like a smeet."_

_"So are you."_

_"Fine I'll do it."_

_"No, I will. Give to ZIM!"_

_"Here you go." Kae handed Zim the controller. _

_"Ready?"_

_"Yep." Zim pushed the button. Both prepared for impact. They stayed that way for a few seconds._

_"Hmmm." Kae mused. "Nothing happened." She scribbled something down on her paper. _

_"Let's see what happens when I do this." Kae pushed a button. Nothing happened. _

_"This is boring!" Zim shouted._

_"I agree."_

_"What now?"_

_"Wanna try the new thing we've been working on?" Kae asked._

_"You don't mean the-"_

_Kae had an evil glint in her large, orange eyes. "Yup."_

_"This should be interesting."_

_Kae pushed a button. Nothing visible happened, but the Irkens' eyes widened. _

_"Oooooh." They said in unison, right before a quick gasp. Then there was a bright light, similar to the one with Nick. Silence for a few moments._

_"That was awesome." Kae said, scribbling on her paper._

_"Yea." Zim thought for a second. "Now how about we try experiment 102."_

_Kae shrugged. "Sure. Why not?"_

_Both aliens walked off-screen._

I looked around my room and wondered who they were experimenting on. And why there were no screams. I shuttered at the thoughts. But movement on my computer screen made me turn back to it.

_"Ok, all set up." Kae said. She looked at her specimen, which I couldn't see. _

_Zim pushed a button. My screen went black._

"NOOOOOOOOO!" I shouted to the ceiling. I couldn't help those people, unless...

I looked at my screen again. The record drives had worked! I nearly yelped with joy.

* * *

Kae stood shakily up.

"Whoa."

Zim stood up next. He surveyed the room. "I'll get the computer to clean this up." He walked away.

Kae looked back at the mess that used to be her and Zim's latest experiments.

"Note to self, no more experimenting with the humans' device called a 'microwave.'"

She was about to follow Zim, when she spotted something jutting out of the wall. She walked up to it.

"A camera? What is a camera doing in here?" She muttered. Then she sighed. "Dib."

"What did he do this time?" Zim asked, walking up behind her.

"He put a hidden camera in out base." She pointed to it.

"That little worm!"

"Wait, I know what we can do." She took out some Irken device and hooked it up to the camera. "This will track the transmission back to Dib's computer. I'm going to leave him a little... message."

* * *

I was busy. I finally had Zim and Kae on tape without their disguises experimenting on people! I could hardly contain myself. That's when it all went downhill fast.

My computer screen went entirely black. Then a little white box popped up that said: File name Zim Camera successfully deleted.

"What? No!" All that proof, gone! And even worse, the Irkens looked like they had put some kind of virus into my computer. I couldn't make it work.

"It's like the Waffles all over again!" I shouted.

_How do you know about that, Earth Stink?_ were the white letters that rolled across my screen.

"How are you doing that? How do you know what I'm saying?" I demanded.

_Your computer has a video chat camera attached to it. I am accessing it. My much more advanced computer can track the way your lips move and tell what words you are saying. Now answer my question._

"I gave Gir a camera one day and he put it in your base and I was able to watch you eat waffles and be attacked by a squid demon and everything. But then the cyborgs destroyed my recordings."

_Ummm... I'm Kae, and I have no idea what you are talking about. But it sounds funny. I'll go ask Zim._

When the words disappeared, my computer exploded. So did everything else I had hooked up to it. I moaned. Then I crawled back into bed.

Just another day in the life of Dib.

* * *

**For anyone who is confused, Dib thought that Zim and Kae were experimenting on humans, but really they were experimenting on microwave ovens. I liked the fact that I could fit several explosions in. And some stuff I just had floating around my head like Dib getting stuck in Zim's toilet.**

**I will try to update more often, but with skool starting up and everything, I won't be able to get to the computer much. But I'll try.**

**Oh, and I'm not going to put up the next chapter until I get at some more reviews. **

**Long live IZ!**


	9. Mate for Life

**Yet another chapter of my Story. Hope you're all enjoying this! Major ZAGR chapter number 2!**

**I would also like to formally apologize to everyone who won a cookie made by Gir a few chapters ago. I'm deeply sorry that they exploded with the force to destroy three city blocks. Like I said before, I don't know what he puts in them. Apparently explosives. So, I hope you still read my story even after that.**

**Quote: "YOU GONNA MAKE BISCUITS? YOU GONNA MAKE BISCUITS? ****YOU GONNA MAKE BISCUITS? YOU GONNA MAKE BISCUITS?" ~Gir (The Girl who Cried Gnome)**

******

* * *

**

Gaz walked into her brother's room. Dib sat at a computer, where all of his data and 'proof' of Zim was being displayed. This was when he was the most annoying. When he was all full of himself and trying to stop Zim. Sheesh, did every little sister have to deal with this? No, because every little sister's brother wasn't an insane paranormal freak out to destroy their neighbor. So why did she have to deal with it? Gaz groaned. Somewhere out there, the powers that be or whatever were getting a good laugh at sticking her here.

Dib stared at his computer and talked to himself in an unnaturally loud manner. "People, these are things that we have to study, get right in and look at it, dissect it and remove things! Have to understand, comprehend!"

Gaz stared at her brother. "You are mentally deranged."

"You just don't get it, Gaz! Zim is up to something! He has been pretty quiet over the past month, but he is up to something! I know it! And I will stop him!"

Gaz finally decided that her patients had run out. When Dib got like this, there were two things she could do: Get away from that place as soon and fast as possible, or knock him out and break something. Guess which one she chose?

Her fist shot out and connected with Dib's face. His head snapped to the side and he crumpled to the ground. Gaz stared down at him for a moment. Then she walked out of the room. When she returned, she was holding a bat. One quick swing, and the computer was smashed to pieces. Gaz set the bat down next to it.

"That's what you get for bothering me." She snarled. Then the dark girl stomped out of the room.

* * *

_Day 29_

_This planet is so strange. Most of it's inhabitants are morons and do not pose a threat. However, there are a few, maybe one in a thousand, that are smart enough be dangerous. One in particular is named Dib. Although he is a child, he is smarter than most other fully mature inhabitants of this planet. His father is a famous scientist, and his sister also notices. Perhaps it runs in the family. _

Kae turned off her computer and sat back. Zim walked into the room.

"When do you think we should call the Armada?" He asked.

"The Armada's not coming." Kae said. She looked at Zim. "I thought you knew that."

Zim looked like he might burst. "WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY'RE NOT COMING? I WAS GIVEN THIS PLANET TO TAKE OVER! THEY HAVE TO BE COMING! I AM ZIM! THEY'RE COMING! THEY'RE COMING!"

Zim went on like this for a few minutes and Kae just waited it out. Minutes turned into hours and she began to contemplate whacking him with something or splashing him with water, but decided against it. She didn't feel like moving right now. So she just waited it out. When he had finally stopped, Kae said, "Zim, think logically. Earth is at the edge of the known universe. It's so far away from other planets, that the Tallest would have to travel for months to get here, forsaking the other planets they need to take. We are going to have to take the planet alone. By ourselves. Without them. Isn't that a task worth of you in all your Zim-ness?"

"Oh." Zim said. "Well, that's ok then. It was right of the Tallest to give me, ZIM!, this responsibility. I will not prove then wrong. For I am ZIM!"

"Right. By the way, everything is ready." Kae said. She turned around to show Zim the rest of her base. "You should go get Gaz."

"Ok." Zim walked out of the room.

* * *

Gaz was laying flat on a metal table. She was strapped down to it and connected to a large machine. She was afraid, but refused to show it.

Only a few minutes ago Zim had showed up at her window and brought her back to his base. Now she was connected to this machine.

"You sure you want to do this?" Kae asked. She stood by the controls. "Once, you do, there is no going back."

"I'm sure." Gaz said.

"You're human body will be destroyed in the process." Kae continued.

"I said I'm sure!" Gaz almost shouted. She looked across the room. She could see another table, just like the one she was lying on. On it was an Irken body. The eyes were closed and it was motionless. It was her body. Zim stood next to it. But he was staring at Gaz. The human girl smiled. Across the room held her new life.

"Do it." She said. Then she closed her eyes. Kae began to press buttons on the control board. She turned some knobs.

Gaz felt odd. At first, it seemed very light. Like nothing was really happening. She remembered something that Kae had said earlier. "It can only work if you are willing to let it. That's why we can't just force it on people. They wouldn't be willing. It wouldn't work. " So how did she let it happen? But the sensation began to pull on her steadily stronger. Gaz could feel it. Her first instinct was to resist. But she knew she had to shut that down. So Gaz let go. She didn't struggle. For the first time in years, she didn't fight.

There was a quick feeling of being separated from her body. Then just black.

_

* * *

_

Darkness. Her eyes were closed, so it was dark. But things were different. She could hear better. The machine, which she had thought to be silent, was now making quite a bit of noise. She could smell better, too. And feel. She could feel someone's hand on her's. The texture she could now feel was different. She was different.

Gaz opened her eyes. The first thing she saw was another pair of red eyes watching her. She smiled. The eyes smiled. So did the mouth attached to the face the eyes were attached to. Zim held out his hand and helped her up. Her eyesight was different. She could see better. And mildly sense things, courtesy of her antennae. Like she could tell if someone was behind her. Gaz found she could stand and walk just like she could before. She looked down at herself, and gasped in horror. For she saw that she was wearing a bright white dress with a smiling flower on it. Gaz screamed. Both other Irkens in the room turned to stare at her.

"What's wrong?" Zim asked.

"LOOK AT WHAT I'M WEARING!" Gaz shouted. The others looked a little puzzled.

"What's wrong with is?" Kae asked.

"It looks like it was picked out by a 2 YEAR OLD!"

"...so?..."

"I CAN'T WEAR THIS!"

"Alright, alright already! I'll go find you something else!"

Kae left the room and returned a few moments later with a black dress with a skull on it and some leggings and shoes. Gaz quickly got dressed. Then she took a quick look around the room. Zim hadn't taken his eyes off her, Kae was doing something with the machine, and there was a blanket over one of the tables near it. Not the one she had woken up on. The other one.

Zim took her hand and led her into another room.

"You're going to need to get used to being an Irken." He said. "First, you need to learn to use your Pak. To begin, you will learn to use your spider legs."

"Ok, like this?" Gaz extended her spider legs. It felt different to be controlling them. It was kind of cool. Like she had extra limbs.

"Umm... yes." Zim hadn't been expecting her to catch on so fast. "Now your shield."

"This?" Gaz retracted her spider legs and two spikes came out of her Pak. They produced a blueish shield that encircled her.

"Yea. That."

"Neat. What next?" Gaz was enjoying this.

"Binoculars."

Gaz put them on. "Cool."

"Cutting torches."

Gaz blew a hole in the wall. "Oops."

"Communicator?"

One came out of her Pak. "Do I get a robot now?"

"Probably not." Zim said.

"Oh, come on!"

"You can have Gir."

"I'm good." Gaz decided she didn't really need a robot.

"How do you know all this?" Zim said. "It took me years as a smeet to master my Pak."

"I'm really good with video games." Gaz answered. "Plus Kae downloaded it into my Pak."

"That would have been nice to know before we started." Zim muttered. "Let's try something else."

* * *

Kae sat in a small room by herself. She was currently talking on the monitor to another Irken Invader named Min.

"So, how's everything going on Earth?" Min asked.

"Pretty good. How about on Colonka?"

"Same. Are you still having that exploding problem with Ris?"

"Yea. I cannot figure out how fix it." Kae looked down at her little robot. "And I think she might be spending too much time with Gir."

Both Irkens watched as Ris stuffed three cupcakes in her mouth.

"Everything ok with Nat?" Kae motioned to Min's robot.

"Yea. Still the same. I think I might be able to call in the armada pretty soon." Min looked pleased.

"Earth's too far away for the armada to travel to." Kae said. "Zim and I have to take the planet by ourselves."

"That shouldn't be too hard for you."

"Thanks!"

"No problem." Min looked at something off-screen. "Hey, I have to go."

"Ok. Call anytime."

"You too."

The transmission was cut.

"Who was that?" Gaz asked, walking into the room.

"Invader Min. She's my friend. We went to the Academy together."

"Cool."

"Where's Zim?"

"Medical bay."

"He put you in the battle simulator and then decided to try and fight you himself." Kae stated.

"I wouldn't have gone so hard on him if I knew it was him and not a hologram."

"Yea. But Zim should know better."

"So, I don't have to sleep?" Gaz was curious.

"Nope."

"Eat?"

"Yes, but you require few nutrients and calories. One small meal a day could sustain you. However, you will find some snacks quite appetizing."

"Job?"

"You will be assigned one. Probably an Invader with Zim, although you can never really tell what will happen after mating."

"So, are me and Zim mates?"

"Not yet."

"So?"

"You connect your Paks. You'll see."

"How come I can't have a robot?"

"Because if it ends up like Gir, we will all be doomed. There is no way the universe would survive with two Girs in it."

"But Ris-"

"Is becoming more like Gir every day."

Gaz thought about it for a moment. Ris had been running around with cupcakes and piggies more often, but was still no where near what Gir was like. However, she really wasn't in the mood to argue any more.

_Crash!_

"What was that?" Gaz looked up at the ceiling. The crash had come from above them.

"You don't have your hologram yet, so wait here." Kae was also looking up. She ran to the nearest elevator.

* * *

Dib stood in the kitchen. He was currently trying to get Gir off his head.

"Get off!" He shouted.

"You're head still smells like a puppy!" The robot shouted, clinging tighter.

Kae and Zim ran into the room at the same time. Upon seeing Dib's predicament, Kae burst into laughter.

Zim, Dib, and Gir stopped and stared at her. She composed herself. "Sorry."

"Alright, let's skip the part where you shout at me and I shout at you and just get down to it." Zim said, obviously wanting to get back to Gaz. "What are you doing here, how many cameras, blah blah blah."

Dib was startled. "Um, I was just trying to find your evil plan."

"We've gone over this before, Dib," Kae said. She was getting annoyed. "I don't have a plan yet."

Zim stopped at looked at Kae. "Yea we do."

Kae glared at him.

"Yea!" Gir shouted. "You were sending those foods to the Tallest and-"

"RIS! GAG HIM!" Kae shouted, pointing at Gir. Ris immediately bolted out of nowhere and tackled Gir, right off of Dib's head. He held the blue robot down to the floor and shoved a piece of cake in his mouth. Where Ris got that cake, we will never know.

"Ha!" Dib shouted. "Your plan has to do with food!"

"And you are going to trust _Gir_ with giving you accurate information?" Zim said. "Wow, Dib, you are stupider than you look."

"Oh, yea? Well now I know that you _do _have an evil plan, and I will stop you!" He struck a heroic pose.

"Go shave your head of smell with your bad self!" Kae said.

"Ok, there is all kinds of things wrong with what you just said." Dib looked at her. Hadn't Zim said the same thing once...?

Kae looked at him strangely. "Really? Maybe I translated it from Irken wrong." She muttered some things in Irken and English under her breath, translating.

"Dib-beast said the same thing to me." Zim added dryly.

"No, I translated it right. Or as right as I can. Your language doesn't have all the words the Irken language does."

Dib looked at both the aliens, uncomprehending.

"It's an insult, you Worm Baby." Zim snarled.

"But it doesn't make any since!" Dib almost shouted.

"It does on our planet." Kae stated simply. "So, you don't have any cameras on you?"

"No, none."

Everyone stood there awkwardly. What exactly did they do now?

"Isn't this the part where you leave?" Zim asked.

"No," Dib thought carefully. "This is usually the part where you through me out." Then he realized what he had just said and his eyes widened.

"Computer!" Zim shouted.

"No, it's ok, I'm leaving! I'm leaving!" Dib stammered as he ran for the door. He ran out side and then paused, relieved. It could have gotten pretty bad in there. The computer showed little mercy.

Kae and Zim listened to Dib's screams as the lawn gnomes attacked him.

"How are your inguries?" Kae asked.

"Better. Wait, how did you know about that?" Zim said.

"Gaz told me. Why you would go into a battle simulator as her enemy, I will never know." Kae sighed. "I'm going to go eat food."

"I'm gonna go find Gaz." Zim said. They both walked away.

* * *

Kae walked into the room. She had been trying to find those laser weasel experiments Zim had mentioned once. They sounded promising. She turned a corner and opened another door.

Zim and Gaz sat on a sofa-like piece of furniture, a cord connecting their Paks. Both of them had their eyes closed, and seemed tuned out of the world. Kae backpedaled and touched the censor next to the door. It slid shut. She then walked calmly away.

Zim and Gaz were now mates.

* * *

**I would like to say that only ONE PERSON reviewed my story last chapter. Do you really hate me that much? Anyway, I would now like to welcome to my story, the only reviewer last chapter, Lilac Rose6! **

**Lilac Rose6: _runs onto the stage_ Hi everyone! I am so happy to be here!**

**Me: Yes, yes, we know. Now, let's get straight to the prizes.**

**Lilac Rose6: Yea! Prizes! **

**Me: _Pulls out a large cardboard box labeled 'prizes' and rummages around in it. _Hmm... what to choose, what to choose...**

**Lilac Rose6: _Looks over my shoulder_ I like that. _Points into the box._**

**Me: You can't have that. **

**Lilac Rose6: Why not?**

**Me: Because you asked for it and I don't do requests.**

**Lilac Rose6: :(**

**Me: But, I will tell you what. Because I like you and you were my ONLY REVIEWER LAST CHAPTER, you can have... _Yanks something out of box_ this.**

**Me: _Holds up Gir in his cute dog suit. Gir smiles._**

**Gir: Hiya Everyone! **

**Lilac Rose6: _Grabs Gir _OMG thank you sooooo much! I love him! He is so cute! I LOVE YOU, GIR!**

**Me: Yes, yes, I know, I am amazing. Just remember, you can only keep him for a week. I need him for the next chapter.**

**Lilac Rose6: What happens if I don't give him back? _Hugs Gir_**

**Me: Then I can't do the next chapter.**

**Lilac Rose6: I can live with that.**

**Me: And I will get a megadoomer and hunt you down like the dirty little monkey you are and pry Gir from your cold, lifeless arms. **

**Lilac Rose6: ...Well, you're a happy person...**

**Gir: I LIKE MONKEYS!**

**Me: Just give Gir back to me in a week. **

**Lilac Rose6: Ok, bye now! _runs away with Gir_**

**Me: Now, to everyone else, post some comments, reviews, and other stuff by clicking the button below. Do it. Do it now, puny Earth creatures! Review and bow down to the wrath of ME! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!**

**I'm normal, you know.**


	10. New Arrivals

**I HAVE RETURNED! And I have brought another chapter! Praise me!**

**I do not own May or Cal. My little sister does. She made me put them in my story.**

**Quote of the Day! "I got monkeys in me!" ~Gir (Gaz, Taster of Pork)**

**

* * *

**Kae stood at the door. She was fine with Zim having some private time with Gaz, but they had been in that room for 7 hours. SEVEN HOURS! And now they're time was up.

She kicked open the door. Zim and Gaz were still sitting on the couch, Paks connected. Kae lifted something that slightly resembled a blow horn and aimed it at them. It was a powerful sound cannon, currently set on the highest setting she could put it on before it caused actual damage to the Irkens' bodies. With a touch of a button, it fired a continuous stream on sound. Kae only heard a small ringing that told her it was working, but Zim and Gaz got the full blast. Both immediately jumped apart and grabbed at their antennae. Their cord connecting their Paks broke and retracted into the two Irkens again. Kae let the blast go on for a few more seconds and then removed her finder from the button, ending the sound. The mates from across the room stared at her.

"What was that for?" Zim shouted, then flinched at the volume of his own voice. He was still sore from the sound blast.

"You two have had enough happy time." Kae said. "We have a job to do."

"Five more minutes?" Zim asked quietly.

"You two have been like this for seven hours."

"Really?" This time Gaz spoke up.

"Yes, really." Kae pointed to Gaz. "You still need a disguise. Come with me. Zim, go do something porductive."

"Like what?"

"Making sure Gir and Minimoose don't destroy anything." Kae looked him down. Zim stomped out of the room.

"He's acting like a smeet." Kae muttered. Gaz looked at her.

"So, I get a disguise now?"

"Yea."

"Like your's or like Zim's?" It was obvious what she meant. A wig and lenses or a hologram.

"Line mine." Kae led Gaz into another room. There was a large purple machine with two half-ovals on it, across from each other.

Kae pointed to the space between the ovals. "Stand there."

Gaz was a bit confused. "Why do I need to do that to get a hologram?"

"It takes a full scan of your body and develops a hologram that will work with it. Then it crafts one and puts it on you. Understand?"

"I think so." Gaz stepped between the two purple half-ovals.

"Your human appearance is already programed into the system." Kae said. Before Gaz could say anything else, Kae pushed a button and both halves came together around Gaz. There was a bright light that streamed from the cracks. Then it opened again and Gaz was standing there. Human Gaz, with the purple hair and black eyes. Kae held out a mirror.

"Ok, now that that's done..."

"How do I take the hologram off?" Gaz looked down at her body.

Kae pointed to her wrist. "Take the watch off."

Gaz did and her hologram fizzed out. "Cool." She put it back on.

"Now, go back to your house before someone sends out a search party."

Gaz rolled her eyes. You could only tell because her hologram was on. "Like anyone at my place cares enough."

"We're not taking any chances. Now go." Kae half-dragged Gaz up the stairs and shoved her out the door.

"Incoming Message." The computer said.

"From who?" Kae looked upwards, toward where the voice seemed to be coming from.

"The Tallest."

"I'll be right there." She hurried back downstairs and turned on her monitor.

"My Tallest." She greeted.

"Yes, 'insert Invader's name here.' We have a special job for you." Red said, reading off a piece of paper. "You will be receiving an Invader-in-Training to watch for a few weeks* and showing him slash her about being an Invader. Only the finest in the class are chosen. Your smeet has a lot of potential. Blah blah blah." Red looked up from the sheet. "Basically, you have to watch an Invader-in-Training for a while so they can learn about being an Invader first-hand. You will be getting your charge via teleporter tomorrow afternoon."

*Irken Time. Different from Earth Time.

"Um, with all due respect, my teleporters don't work with that kind of distance."

"The ones here do." Red looked at something off-screen. "Hey! Someone's making donuts! Woo!"

The transmission was cut. Kae looked around for a moment.

"Computer."

"What?"

"Where's Zim?"

"The labs."

Kae turned and headed for the labs.

* * *

"So there is a smeet training to be an Invader coming." Zim said.

"Yup." Kae answered.

"Truely I am amazing for the Tallest to choose me to be an example for this smeet. I AM ZIM!"

Kae decided better than to tell him that _she_ was the one assigned to this, not him. He would get distracted by something and forget all about it, anyway.

* * *

Kae stood at the teleporter, like she had been for several hours. First Zim and Gaz, now this. Did everyone want to keep her waiting? There was a brief flash of light and a small Irken stood there in attention position. It was female, with bright green eyes and curly antennae. She was wearing a simple training academy outfit.

"May, reporting." She said, stepping out of the teleporter. A second later, a small training robot, or T-bot jumped out of the teleporter. It saluted.

"Cal, reporting." It said.

"At ease." Kae said, and both relaxed. "Now, just to set the basic rules around here: don't destroy anything, do as your told, blah blah blah. I'll show you around."

Kae began walking around the base, Cal and May at her heels. "This is the laboratory, communications, battle simulator..." She brought May through all the rooms until she found Zim.

"That's Zim. And the blue robot is Gir, the red one is Ris, and the purple moosey thing is Minimoose. Gir and Minimoose are Zim's, Ris is mine. If you see Gir destroying anything, stop him. Same goes for Minimoose."

May looked up, startled.

"Your going to need a disguise. Come here." Kae led May into another room, where the same machine Gaz had gone into was. "You should know how this works. Step inside."

May did. The purple ovals closed and May let out a surprised squeal as light seeped through the cracks. The ovals opened and she now looked like an average human female. She had pale skin and long light brown wavy hair. Her eyes now looked human, but remained green.

"Your turn." Kae pointed to Cal. The robot stepped in. "May, what do you think Cal should be?"

"Umm..." She thought back to her research of Earth. "How about a Woolly Mammoth?"

Kae stared at her for a moment. "Woolly Mammoths have been extincted for thousands of years. Didn't you do some research before you came here?"

Cal looked down. "Yes."

Kae sighed. "How about something more common, like a cat or a dog, or even a rabbit?"

"Can I have a rabbit?" She asked, sounding excited again.

"Rabbit it is." Kae pushed a button and the ovals closed. A few seconds later, they opened again, reviling a small bunny. It hopped over to May to stand next to her.

"Take off your bracelet to take off the hologram," Kae said to May, "And take off Cal's collar to take off her's."

Kae looked around the room, trying to think of something for the smeet and her robot to do. "You came at a pretty bad time. Zim and I are just about ready to take the planet. We're just waiting on some weapons to arrive. There really isn't much to do right now."

Kae thought for a moment. "How about we go check on those laser-weasel experiments."

May nodded enthusiastically. She took her bracelet off and Cal took her collar off. Both resumed their original appearances. Kae walked through a few halls, the smeet and T-bot close behind. She opened a door and saw Zim and Gaz together again on the couch. They were very close, and their antennae were twisted around each others, which is the Irken equivalent of making out. Kae put her arm down so it blocked Cal's vision and backpedaled a few steps. The door closed.

"One more rule, don't bother Zim and Gaz when they are having some private time." Kae said. "Let's go this way."

* * *

"Ok, skool briefing." Kae looked at May. She looked just like a skool girl, with her little bunny poking it's head out of her backpak [I purposefully misspelled backpack, so it has the word 'Pak' in it. Get it?] "You are my cousin who is visiting from Washington. My name is Katelyn. You try not to say much, and don't draw any attention. If you need any help, Gaz should be in your class. Do as the teacher says. Your name is Maybelle, and your bunny is Cally. Any questions?"

"What is skool like, exactly?" Maybelle asked nervously.

"Like the Academy, only without the battle practice. Just don't act like an alien, and be careful. We can't afford for anyone to find us strange." Kae looked at the clock on her wall. "Come on, we have to go now. We're walking."

Katelyn and Maybelle walk to the Skool. "I already got you enrolled. You have to go to the Midle Skool. I'll be in the Hi Skool."

"Why?"

"You look too young to pass as a Hi Skooler." Kae looked up. "We're here. Go to room 58. Good luck."

Katelyn continued on her way to the Hi Skool. She felt something bruch against her leg. She looked down. Ris was there, with her cloaking device on. Katelyn couldn't see her, and neithor could Maybelle. "Ris, follow Cal and make sure she doesn't do anything to compromise the mission." Katelyn stood up and walked the rest of the way to her skool.

* * *

The day passed without interest. Katelyn and Maybelle came back to the base and Gir made them waffles.

They all chowed down.

Suddenly, Zim came running into the room. He huffed out his problem. "Gaz *huff* Battle simulator *huff* laser gun *huff* DOOM! *huff, huff, huff*"

"Complete sentances, Zim." Kae said. She took another bite of waffle.

Zim caught his breath and began the story. "Gaz was training in the battle simulator, but it was broken so-"

"Why's the battle simulator broken?" Kae asked.

"Gir was playing with it. Anyway, it couldn't make the holograms, so I let Gaz put on the Game Helmet, you know, the one that goes over your face and makes it seem like your in the game? Yea, that one. And Gaz put her Vampire Piggy Hunter game in, and while she was playing, she accidentally left the battle simulator. She has a real laser gun, and is headed this way!"

Kae almost choked on her waffle. Gaz thinking she's in a game, with a laser gun. Oh no.

Everyone's heads snapped sideways when they heard a crack. Gaz, with the Game Helmet still on and holding a laser gun, had kicked the door open.

"I've got you now, Vampire Piggies!" She snarled.

"RUN!" Kae and Zim shouted at the same time. Everyone scattered. Robots hid behind furniture, Irkens ran upstairs, and there was chaos.

* * *

A few minutes later, everyone sat in the destroyed living room. A large Resisty spaceship was crashed in the kitchen.

"Wow, that was an amazing battle!" May cried. "With Gaz shooting everywhere and everyone running, and then that ship started shooting at us and Gaz thought is was the Boss, or a Zombie Hog thing and everyone was yelling and then it exploded! It was awesome!" May was bouncing up and down. "Invaders are so amazing!"

Cal nodded.

Kae looked around the destroyed house. The only thing left standing was the front wall. "We'll need to clean this up." She said.

No one moved.

"Computer!" Zim shouted. "Clean this mess. I'm going to go check on that microwave experiment."

Zim walked over to the dented trash can and jumped down.

"Wait, microwave experiment? Zim! Stop! Remember what happened last time!" Kae ran after Zim.

With nothing else to do, the Invader-to-be and robots followed.

* * *

**Me: I am going to give another prize to a lucky fan. The fan I have chosen today is...drum-roll...INVADERXxRath!**

**INVADERXxRath: Hi. **

**Me: I have a pre-chosen prize this time. You get, Minimoose for a day! _holds up Minimoose_**

**Minimoose: Squeak!**

**INVADERXxRath: Yea! _grabs Minimoose _Wait a minute, only for a day?**

**Me: Yup**

**INVADERXxRath: But Lilac Rose6 got to keep Gir for a week!**

**Me: Yes, but I know and semi-trust Lilac Rose6. I have no clue who you are. Plus, I need him for the next chapter. So, one day.**

**INVADERXxRath: But-**

**Lilac Rose6: _Runs onto the stage _I'm Back!**

**Me: What are you doing here? You were in the last chapter's author note. You're not supposed to be here.**

**Lilac Rose6: Oh well. I'm here. **

**Me: How did you get in?**

**Lilac Rose6: Gir let me in.**

**Me: Then how did you get past security?**

**Lilac Rose6: Uhhh... _Goes into a flashback_**

**_Lilac Rose6 is crawling through an air duct. Suddenly, Gir jumps up out of nowhere._**

**_Gir: Hiya Rosey! _**

**_Lilac Rose is so surprised she yelps and falls through the air duct. She stands back up and looks around. She is standing next to a door labeled 'Stage.'_**

**_Lilac Rose6: Oh, I'm here. That was easy. _**

**_End of flashback._**

**Me: _Holds a walkie-talkie up to my mouth _Sargent Rankle, post a secerty officer in the air duct from now on.**

**Sargent Rankle: Why?**

**Me: Because someone just got in through it.**

**Slab Rankle: Oh, ah, right away. **

**Me: _Turns to Lilac Rose6 _You can go now.**

**Lilac Rose6: But I like it here. **

**Me: _Pulls out a small cylender device with a red button on it. _Too bad_. Pushes the button._**

**Lilac Rose6: _A trap door in the floor below her opens up. She falls through. The door closes._**

**Me: Ok, now that that's settled, ****INVADERXxRath, enjoy your prize. Everyone else, please review. I will not post the next chapter until I get some more reviews. So come on, or you will never know the ending. SO REVIEW!**


	11. Miscellaneous Moments

**I am back! **

**This chapter is mostly made up of all the little moments I had floating around my head.**

**IZ Quote: "But I need tacos! I need them or I will explode! That happens to me sometimes." ~Gir (Invasion of the Idiot Dog Brain)**

**

* * *

**May sat down on the couch with Gir, Minimoose, and Cal. They shared some Irken popcorn and watched the Scary Monkey Show. Kae walked into the room.

"Have any of you seen Zim?" She looked around and noticed the giant hole in the roof for the first time. "And how did that happen?" She pointed to the hole.

"Some fry cook guy burst in through the roof and abducted him." May said.

Kae stared at them. "How long ago?"

May shrugged. "An hour or so."

"And why didn't you tell me?"

"Scary Monkey Show was on."

Kae walked over to the TV and punched through the glass. It sparked and died. Everyone moaned.

"What was that for?" Cal asked.

"For paying more attention to that" Kae pointed at the broken TV "Than to what was happening around you. May, I expect a full report. Everyone else, make yourselves useful."

Everyone filed out of the room expect May, who stood at attention.

"Exactly 62 Earth minutes ago, an Irken commonly known as Sizz-Lorr broke in through the ceiling and captured Zim. Zim's current whereabouts are unknown."May reported.

Kae sighed. She turned to the other robots who stood in the doorway of the kitchen. "I have to go get Zim. Ris, your in charge."

The red robot saluted.

"Don't answer the door, don't expose yourselves, try not to break anything. I'll be back as soon as I can." Kae walked over to her own base's hanger and entered her Spittle Runner. She then blasted off and aimed her ship in the direction of Foodcourtia.

* * *

Kae walked in the door of the restaurant and looked about. People sat at booths eating, an Irken who she didn't know was at the cash register. She didn't see Zim. But she did see Sizz-Lorr.

"Hey, your Sizz-Lorr, right?" She said walking up.

"Yes, I am. What can I do for you?" He said.

"Explain to me why you abducted Zim." She starred him down.

Sizz Lorr growled. "He escaped from me twice now and left me to work two Foodenings all alone!"

Kae looked at him, slightly confused. "What about them?" She pointed to the other workers. Weren't they there with him?

"Well, uh..."

"And two Foodenings? Isn't that forty years, plus the time between? Zim was still in the Academy forty years ago."

"Well, there was this whole time warp thing..."

"But then wouldn't there be two of you? One from the previous time and then the one that went after Zim and went through the whole time thing?" Kae asked.

"I don't know how it works!" Sizz-Lorr exclaimed.

"Well, anyway, Zim and I are in the process of invading a planet, so I'm going to have to ask you to release him."

Sizz-Lorr laughed. "His Pak still has him encoded as a food service drone. He's staying with me."

Kae walked straight up to the fry cook, so their faces were only inches apart. "Listen to me now, because I'm not going to repeat this. I am an Invader and a soldier. I have taken seven planets and two moons. I fought in wars no one else survived. I have on me, right now, three different projectile weapons, two non-projectile weapons, a laser gun, extensive knowledge of the body's weak and painful spots and a licence to kill. Do you really want to mess with me?"

By now, everyone in the restaurant was watching. Sizz-Lorr's eyes had gone a little wider. "Invader Kae." He whispered, just realizing who he was dealing with. A tough reputation sure came in handy sometimes.

Kae rook a step back. "Zim! Front an center."

Zim came running out of the back of the store. He was in his uniform and covered with grease.

"Finally!" He shouted. "I thought you would never get here!"

Kae was still staring at what he was wearing. Large goofy goggles and a huge red hat with a giant yellow 'S' on it, a stained white apron, and a pin of a chubby Irken wearing the same uniform. As Zim moved, the pin spit out grease. Kae could barely even recognize him.

She turned back to Sizz-Lorr. "Do you make all of your employees wear that?"

"It's the standard issue uniform." He replied.

Kae looked back at Zim. "That's just sad."

Giggles were heard around the room and Sizz-Lorr looked a little embarrassed.

"Zim, get out of that."

Zim quickly stripped out of his uniform, so only his Invader's clothes remained. Kae looked him over again.

"What's with the collar?" she asked.

"It will explode if I leave the building." Zim stated.

Kae pulled out her laser gun and aimed it. One quick blast and she returned it to her pocket. Zim pulled at the collar and it broke apart where Kae had blasted it.

"Let's go!" Zim said, almost running at the door. Kae walked behind him, but stopped at a table. There were a few beings of different races. A Vortion, a Cloaky, and a few others.

"Hey, aren't you the Resisty?" Kae asked, a slight evil smile on her face.

The beings at the table broke the window next to them and jumped out of it, running for their lives. Kae snickered, and then continued to her ship.

* * *

"Class, you will all be assigned to a younger student who will follow you around for the rest of the day to see how horrible this Hi Skool really is." Ms Bitters said. She then began reading off a list who would be assigned to which younger student.

"Katelyn, you will have Spuddy."

Katelyn thought he was the poor boy Zim had completely freaked out once while walking home from skool [Beginning of 'Megadoomer']. Funny, she didn't think he went to this skool. Must have transfered.

"Zim, you will have Gaz."

Zim smirked at Dib's screams.

"Dib! Stop that infernal noise or I will have you eaten alive by piranhas. You will have Maybelle."

Katelyn tried not to laugh. Dib would have his work cut out for him.

"Now, everyone, go find your pitiful excuses for students and show them around the Skool." Ms Bitters opened the door to the classroom and younger kids flooded in. Zim quickly found Gaz, and both set off. Dib tried to follow them, but Maybelle found him first.

"Hiya!" She shouted in his ear. "You're Dib, right? Cool! Your head is big! Why's it so big? When are we gonna go to lunch? I'm hungry! I want to see the gym. Is it big? Can we go to the bathroom? Where are the water fountains?"

She fired a constant stream of shouted questions in his ear. Not even five minutes in and Dib already looked like he want to bash his head into a wall.

"Are you Katelyn?" A little boy, Spuddy, asked.

"Yup. Come on, I'll give you a tour of the building."

* * *

"What happened with Dib? I heard he ended up going to a hospital." Kae asked May. Everyone was back at Zim's base and just hanging out.

"He jumped out a second story window." May answered, with an accomplished smile on her face.

"I will give you this: you have a gift for annoying people." Kae said.

Throughout the day, Zim and Gaz had just found a quiet broom closet to lock themselves in. Kae didn't have any trouble whatsoever with her kid. He was pretty boring. May had caused Dib so much insanity he had jumped out a window.

"Kae, what's a Holobean?" May asked.

"You mean Halloween? It's a human holiday. Zim experienced it once, and it doesn't sound very nice. Where did you hear it?"

"The other students were talking about it. They were complaining that they couldn't wear their costumes to skool because they had to follow the older kids around. Halloweens's tonight."

Zim spit out the snack he had been eating.

"Tonight?" He gasped out. "The Halloweenies! Nooo! We have to prepare!" He took off in the direction of the weapons chamber.

"Ris, what day is it, human time?" Kae asked.

"October 31st, commonly known as the human holiday of Halloween."

Kae sighed. "We're doomed." she motioned to May. "Come on, I'll let you man one of the Death Wave Cannons."

"Yay!" May shouted and followed Kae to the weapons chamber.

* * *

It was the night of October 31st, and there was a full moon. Zim's house was barred as much as the Irkens inside could get it on such short notice. The door was boarded up, as well as the windows. Two circular holes were cut into the wall facing the front yard. Both had a Death Wave Cannon's barrel pointed through it. May was at one, Kae at the other. Ris and Cal stood in front of the door, ready to attack anything that came through and protect their masters. Zim stood in the back, quivering slightly. He was still freaked out from his first Halloween. A pile of smaller guns lay in a pile in the middle of the room. Gir and Minimoose were nowhere to be seen. The house was prepared for a battle.

The Halloweenies came out of their homes in search of candy. They attacked the other houses on the street, and the little green house tensed. And soon as the candy-thirsty children began to migrate over to the house. They pounded on the door, and there was a crack as one of the boards on the door broke.

"Fire one!" Kae shouted and May fired her weapon. Kae put her hand on the door, and it became transparent. Both aliens watched the seine outside. Minimoose was jumping through bag after bag of candy. The Halloweenies were running to stay away from him. Kae pointed to the other cannon.

"May, keep watching. If you think Minimoose can't handle it, shoot out Gir. He should take care of them." May nodded and ran over to the other cannon, where Gir was stuck in for ammo.

"See. I told you Gir and Minimoose would make great ammo." Zim said. "Gir attacked the Halloweenies last year."

There was another crack as Dib jumped through a side window. Kae grabbed one of the guns in the piled and aimed it at him.

"You've got to help me!" The boy cried. "It's happening again!" He noticed the weapon. "Your not going to shoot me with that, are you?"

"Relax, Earth-Boy, it's set on stun." Kae rolled her eyes behind the lenses. She was wearing her wig-and-lenses disguise, and so was Zim and May.

"Who's that?" Dib pointed to May.

"You don't need to know. Now, what's happening again?"

"A few years ago, I accidentally teleported myself into a dimension inside my head where they tried to cut open my head to use as a portal into this world! And now it's happening again!" Dib cried.

Kae looked at Zim.

"I told you the story." Zim stated.

"Yea." Kae said, nodding. Nightmare world inside Dib's head. At least it was original.

"You didn't tell me!" May exclaimed.

"I'll explain later."

"Nooooooo!" Dib's hands disappeared. Then his arms, then the rest of him.

"Wow." Kae stared at the place he just was. "Where will he be when he comes back?"

"He could be anywhere." Zim shrugged.

Both aliens turned when hands poked between the boards on the windows, trying to get in.

"May, fire cannon two!" Kae shouted.

There was a blast and then some screams of "It's after my candy!" as Gir attacked the Halloweenies.

"What are we going to do about Dib?" Kae turned back to Zim.

"How about we knock him unconscious and let the monsters in this head get him." Zim suggested.

Kae shrugged. "Sounds like a good idea to me."

Dib reappeared. He was screaming bloody murder.

Kae aimed her stun-gun. "Good night."

Dib looked up. "Wait a minute, what are you- AHHHHHH! ...zzzzzzzzzz..."

Dib's unconscious form disappeared again.

Zim looked at the cannons. "Say, didn't those come with ammo packs?"

"Yup."

"And you removed them?"

"Yup. And it wasn't easy." Kae said, remembering.

_Flashack:_

_Kae and May stand in front of a Death Wave Cannon. A compartment on its side was open. Kae, wearing large protective gloves and goggles, gently pulled out a glowing green ammo core. She walked carefully to May, who was wearing the same goggles and gloves. May held open a box made of heavy metal._

_"Carefully... carefully..." Kae said, as she began to lower the ammo core into the box. "No sudden movements."_

_Gir popped up out of nowhere and screamed, "HI!"_

_Both aliens jump at the unexpected noise and Kae drops the ammo core. The Irkens yelped and ducked for cover. The core hit the ground. Nothing happened. Kae and May slowly come out of hiding and stared at the core. _

_"Hmm. Nothing happened." Kae said. "Maybe it was empty."_

_A rubber piggy fell onto the core. It exploded with the force to annihilate three city blocks. However, in the reinforced room, it only destroyed the room._

_End flashback._

"Good thing we ordered three cannons." Kae muttered under her breath.

There were some stomping noises from the back of the house. Everyone turned.

"The back door!" Zim cried.

"You have a back door?" Kae asked. No one told her anything anymore.

Gaz came stomping into the room.

"I hate holidays." She seethed.

Zim, Kae, and May knew enough by now to take a step back. When Gaz was angry, you stayed out of her way.

"What happened this time?" Zim asked.

"My idiot brother kept thinking that everyone was real whatever-they-were-dressed-like and was chasing everyone, and then he started complaining about going back to his nightmare world and begging me to help him. Then I got mobbed by a bunch of little kids who thought my backpak had candy in it. And no one is afraid of Halloween anymore, which just makes it another stupid holiday for people to squeal about."

"I know what you mean." Zim said. Gaz began to calm down.

Kae put her hand on the door again, and it turned transparent. A very bloated Gir sat on top of a mountain of candy. Minimoose was still tackling kids. No one would be getting past them tonight.

"I'm going to the weapons storage. I need to check on the new arrivals." She left the room. Zim followed, as did Ris.

Gaz and May were alone.

"It must be nice to live on Irk. No annoying holidays, anyway. Zim says it's a nice place to live." Gaz said absently.

"Yea? Well you haven't heard my side of the story." May said, smiling. She left the room.

* * *

**Me: Hello people of Earth! Want to know May's side of the story? Too bad! You have to wait until I publish the next chapter! If you are reading this and I have already put on the next chapter, then good for you. Want to know if Dib is alive or not? You have to wit two chapters! HAHAHAHAH! Now, I would just like to say-**

**Random Zim Fan: Hi! _Grabs Gir and runs._**

**Me: _talks into a walkie talkie _Sargent Rankle, we have a runner.**

**Sargent Rankle: Who'd they grab? Zim, Gir, or Minimoose?**

**Me: Gir.**

**Sargent Rankle: I'll get 'em.**

**Me: Ok, now that that's settled, I want to say-**

**Lilac Rose6: I'm back! Again!**

**Me: I thought for sure I kicked you out last chapter.**

**Lilac Rose6: You did! But now I'm back! Again!**

**Me: But how? I have securety everywhere!**

**Lilac Rose6: I came out of the floor.**

**Me: So you climbed up out of the trap door? Is that even possible?**

**Lilac Rose6: No! I used the sewers.**

**Me: Gross.**

**Lilac Rose6: I know.**

**Me: Now, to get back to what I was about to say-**

**Gir: Hi Rosey!**

**Lilac Rose6: Gir! _hugs Gir_**

**Me: Hey, you already had your time with Gir, now kindly put him down before I call security.**

**Zim: I've come for the robot.**

**Me: Zim! Now your here?**

**May: And me!**

**Cal: Greetings.**

**Ris: Hi.**

**Me: Ahhh! So many people!**

**Kae: What did I miss?**

**Me: Ahhhhhhhh! _runs out of the room_**

**Lilac Rose6: Hey, the author's gone. Know what that means?**

**Everyone: Wild Party!**

**Everyone: _A giant disco ball comes out of the ciening and music starts playing. Everyone begins to party._**

**Kae: Remember to review! And if you can say who the head of security is and what his last job was, you might get to come into the author's note of next chapter.  
Hey! Found a piece of paper. It's got what the author wanted to say on it. Oh, cool! Listen to this-**

**Gir: _Eats paper._**

**Kae: Well, so much for that. Party!**


	12. The Return of Everyone

**Chapter 12 is now up. Wow, twelve chapters. This is going to be a long fic.**

**As the name of the chapter says, everyone who has had, like, five seconds of air time is going to show up. It's gonna be crazy!**

**I am so sorry for not updating in, like, forever! But I have, like, tons different stories going now, plus any that I think of suddenly that I just _have_ to write! And then I had a major mind block!**

**Just so you know, I was going to write a chapter all about May growing up, but my sister wanted to read it, which meant I would have to cut out all violence and death, and then I got the writers block of the century, for, like, weeks! Then I just gave up on it. There is not going to be a chapter on May's side of the story. I'm sorry for any inconvenience. **

**IZ quote of the day: "It's got chicken legs!" ~Gir (Megadoomer)**

* * *

*Knock, Knock*

Zim and Kae looked up and at the door.

"You think it's Dib?" Kae asked.

"Perhaps." Zim answered.

Kae walked over to the door. Two Plookesians and a human stood in the doorway. Zim looked over at them.

"Hey!" The green one said. "I'm Mooshy and this is Spoopty" he pointed to the other Plookesian "We were here before and we saw the short Irken."

Zim walked over to them.

"Yeah!" Mooshy said. "You're him. We picked up some more super weapons on our travels, and since we were coming back to Earth to drop of Dwinky, we figured we'd give them to you, since you like them so much."

Spoopty held out a large mound of super weapons and Zim grabbed them, giggling like a maniac, and ran off.

"Do you mind if we stay here for a few hours?" Mooshy asked. Normally, Kae would have slammed the door in their faces, but the Irkens currently had a peace treaty with the Plookesians. They would be under Irken rule, but they would also have a lot of freedom (they don't make very good slaves). She was supposed to be nice to them. So, Kae let them in.

A few minutes later, Gaz walked in and turned on the TV.

Then the doorbell rang. Kae went to answer it. Keef and a bunch of his nerdy classmates were there and ran in before Kae could stop them.

"Party!" He shouted. The Plookesians got up and started to dance.

Tak and Mimi walked in the door. "I'm back!" Tak shouted. No one really payed her any attention. She cleared her throat and then continued. "I'm here to finally get my revenge on Zim for-"

"So you admit that you want revenge?" Gaz asked. Tak looked flustered. The doorbell rang again. Then the door was kicked open.

"Hey!" Dib shouted from in the doorway. "I'm here now! And I brought reinforcements!"

Bill the Paranormal Expert walked into the room and surveyed it.

"Nothing seems amiss here," He said, in his quiet, James Bond voice.

Dib almost screamed.

Zim ran back into the room. Minimoose and Gir were behind him. "What's with all the noise?"

The door burst open (again) and Sizz-Lorr was standing there. "Zim! We meet again."

"I can still kick your sorry butt all the way from here to Ka-nora." Kae stated.

"Um, but look what I brought from space!" He held out a small hamster that looked like Zim's old Ultra-Peepi experiment and a tiny santa suit.

Mortos der Soulstealer walked in the door Sizz-Lorr had forgotten to close.

"Mortos? I thought you said you couldn't come back for another 1,000 years!" Dib shouted over the increasingly loud music.

"What?"

"I thought you said-"

"WHAT?"

"I THOUGHT YOU-"

"WHHAAAATTTT?"

"OH FORGET IT!"

"Okay." Dib facepalmed.

The door opened _again _and this time it was a girl with short black hair and a stuffed bunny sticking out of her backpack.

"Who are you?" Kae asked in confusion.

"I'm Min, duh!" She took off the choker and her image flickered into that of a small Irken girl. A SIR unit jumped from her Pak, and took off it's bunny suit.

"How'd you get here?" Kae asked.

"I took a wormhole!"

"Why are you here?"

"I had 5 second of screentime." Min answered.

"Huh? What's that... wait, you mean everyone whos had screentime is going to show up?" Kae's jaw dropped.

"Uh-huh, pretty much." Min walked into the house.

Suddenly, the window shattered and a man with purplish skin burst into the room.

"SQUIDMAN!" Zim shouted, "you were eaten by a shark!"

"Whoo!" squealed Gir for no apparent reason.

"How did he get out?" Kae asked.

"You don't wanna know." Squidman said, before leaping into the sink.

Invader Tenn was suddenly chased in through the broken window by the malfunctioning SIR units, screaming, "HELP, THEY WANT TO EAT MY SQUEADELYSPOOCH!"

Shadowhog walked in through the now broken front door, and saw Gaz. "Ah, hello again!" He said happily.

"Hey Shadowhog." She didn't look up from the TV. We aren't sure if she even realized what was going on at this point in time. Iggens burst through the other window with a triumphant grin.

"I am here to challenge you, Demon Gaz, to an all out GameSlave War." He said.

"Sure." Gaz answered, standing up. "What do I get when I win?"

"You don't have to worry 'bout that, 'cuz you're not going to!" Iggens shouted. He seemed very pleased with his insult.

"I have an idea." Kae said. "After the GameSlave war, you two will fight to the death in a Battle Royal in the battle simulator downstairs."

Iggens looked nervous. "You're joking, right?"

Gaz smiled evilly. "Oh course she is. Just say yes and we can get started."

"Oh, alright then. Let's do this thing!"

The two turned to the TV and began the most epic battle in GameSlave history.

"Wanna buy some chocolate covered ninja star cookies?" Called a shill, high pitched voice.

"AHHHH!" Zim and Kae said in unison. "GIRL WITH COOKIES! GIRL WITH COOKIES!"

Kae threw a rock at her and Moofy ran away screaming and crying.

Kae spun around and looked over the base. The malfunctioning SIR units were with Gir in a corner playing with tacos and rubber piggies, a crowd was gathering around the GameSlave war, the door and windows were broken, music blasted from who-knows-where while people danced. It was going to be a very long night.

A very alien looking man in combo gear walked into the house.

"My name is Sargent Hobo 678, and I am here to eliminate an Irken named Zim." He snarled.

"...why...?" Kaw asked. How many people wanted to kill Zim?

"Because he was the worst commander in Hobo 13 history, and he put me out of commission."

"He did such a bad job at boot camp that you lost your job?" Kae said, shocked. "Impressive."

"No, it is not impressive, it is- hey! Are those Vort Dogs?" He said, staring at a table. Kae looked over. It was filled with snacks. Someone must have brought them.

"Yeah, looks like it." She said unemotionally. "Go have some."

"We are here to take back our human specimen."

Kae looked at the door. "Oh great," She muttered. "Klartains." [A/N: I just made that up. I have no idea what species of alien the Abducted Aliens are.]

"Take the big headed one." Min said, pointing to Dib. Dib looked up.

"Oh, not you two again!" He moaned.

"We do not wish for our Earth Weasel." The one with green eyes said.

"They kept calling me a weasel." Dib explained.

"We want our human," The blue eyes one said.

"They still think I'm human." Zim moaned. At the looks other humans gave him, Zim quickly tried to cover it up. "I mean, of course I'm human! Look at my, uh, leg! I like pants!"

"I'm annihilating Zim." Tak snarled.

"No, I am!" Sizz-Lorr shouted.

"No, we are!" The Klartains said.

"What about me?" Sergent Hobo 678 demanded.

"There is only one way to solve this." Kae said. "And epic battle to the death. The winner get Zim."

There were mumbled agreements.

"Hey!" Zim shouted. "I thought you were on my side!"

Kae led the group to the Battle simulator.

"Wait!"

Kae turned around. "Now what?"

A bunch of human babies stood in the doorway.

"We are the Nhar-Gh'ok, and we want to destroy Zim as well," The leader commanded.

Kae shrugged. "Into the battle simulator." They filed in.

"What are you doing?" Zim hissed.

"Saving your butt." She answered.

"I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!" An anguished cry came from the door.

"Well don't bring it here!" Kae shouted back. "We have more people than I can stand already!"

Sergent Rankle stumbled in.

"Little perpetrator!" He called to Zim. Zim blinked slowly.

"Do I know you?" He asked.

"You broke into the mall once," The man said. "You were the only one to ever best me."

"Oh yeah... what are you doing at my base- err house?"

"I- I-" Rankle stuttered. "I lost my job!"

"So get a new one!" Somebody shouted.

"My job was my life!" He cried out. "I am nothing if I am not a Mall Cop!"

"So why are you here?" Zim asked.

"You are the only one who bested me." Rankle said quietly. "I was wondering if you could find room in your heart to let me stay here for a while, just until I recover?"

"No." Zim grabbed what was left of the door and slammed it into place in front of Rankle.

"That was cold." Prisoner 777 said.

Kae and Zim spun to look at him.

"When did you get here?" Kae asked.

"A while ago." He answered. "The little Irken let me in."

"_May!_" Kae called out, and began searching for said Irken.

There was a knock at the door, which fell down. Two Planet Jackers stood behind it, and stared down at the door.

"They just don't make doors like they used to." The thin one said.

"Here to try and steal Earth again?" Zim inquired.

"No." The thin one said. "We heard there was a party here, so we came."

"We love to party." The gruff, large on said.

"Zim has no party." The Irken scoffed. "Now be gone!"

"Yeah you do!" The thin one said. "I can see it! Say, what's wrong with him?" He pointed to Slab Rankle, who was curled up in a ball on the ground.

"He lost his job." Zim explained. "Just ignore him."

"Hey there," A large, yellow, one-eyed blob in black rubber overalls walked into the base. "I brought the Ham Demon."

Said demon followed Eric the blob.

There was sudden and intense cheering from the TV. Gaz stood up.

"I win." She said. Iggens looked depressed.

"Are you ready for your punishment?" She asked.

"Punishment?" Iggens squeaked.

"That's right." She said. "It's Battle Royal time!"

"B-b-b-b-but," Iggens stammered. "You said she was joking!"

"I lied."

Gaz grabbed the back of his shirt and dragged him away.

"NOOOOOO!" Iggens cried. "SOMEBODY HELP ME!"

Kae showed them the way downstairs.

"You will be using this battle simulator." She said, pointing to one.

"Why can't we use that one?" Gaz pointed to the other.

"Because Tak is still in there. She won the battle with everyone who hated Zim, so I locked her in until further notice."

"Fine. We'll use this one." Gaz grabbed a scary looking gun and dragged Iggens into the arena.

"Please, I'm begging you!" Iggens pleaded. "I'll do anything, just please! Don't let her kill me!"

"Sorry, kid." Kae said, shutting the door. She walked back upstairs. Everyone was staring at the TV.

"What is it now?" She asked.

"I... don't... know..." Zim said slowly.

Kae walked over, and saw a strange sight. There was a pair of icy blue eyes staring at them from the shadow above the TV.

"What in the Irk?" She muttered.

A small sign poked out of the shadows and read _Hi!_

There were mumbled "hello"s.

"Who are you?" Kae asked.

_Doogles McFly_

"Why are you here?" Zim asked.

_I had screentime._

"No you didn't!" Kae said. "I've never seen you before!"

_It was in "The Invader Zim Hunger Games with Maximum Ride."_ [A/N: another FanFic of mine. Really funny, you should read it. Co-written with Lilac Rose6]

"Oh yeah," Zim said. "I remember that!"

"You do?" Kae asked, startled.

"I'm back," Gaz said, walking over to the group. She looked fine, except for a few bloodstains that were barely noticeable on her black dress.

"Hey! Doogles!" She said, looking at him.

_Hi, Gaz!_

"You too?" Kae exclaimed. "How come no one ever told me about this? No one tells me anything anymore!"

"It was a while ago," Gaz explained. "It was nothing."

"It was fun." Zim said.

"Let's get back to the party!" Someone shouted. There were cheers and the music was cranked back up.

"I'm gonna go to bed." Kae said, obviously hating every second of this insane day.

"Irkens don't need to sleep." Gaz said, confused.

"I know." Kae answered. "But anything is better than being stuck in this zoo."

She marched downstairs.

Zim and Gaz looked at each other.

"Wanna go to the moon?" Zim asked. "It's pretty romantic there."

Gaz smiled. "Bet I can beat you to the Voot!"

The two mates ran off, leaving the now intense party to its own devices.

* * *

"Hello? Anyone there?" Tak called. She banged on the door of the simulator again. And again, there was no answer.

"I won!" She shouted. "I beat everyone! Now I have to destroy Zim! Someone let me out of here!"

She leaned against the door. A communicator came out of her Pak.

"Mimi, come in Mimi!" She said into it. There was no reply.

"Mimi!" Tak called. "Come and get me! Mimi!"

* * *

Mimi danced alongside the others in the room upstairs, the music so loud she didn't notice her built in communicator buzzing.

* * *

"Mimi!" Tak shouted again. "You can't do this to me! Mimi!"

* * *

**Me: I feel so bad about not updating for so long. Please forgive me!**

_**There was a sudden crash, and an advanced Megadoomer burst through a wall.**_

**Me: AHHHHH!**

**Lilac Rose6: _Jumps out of Megadoomer. _Hiya!**

**Me: Again? You're back again? You are persistent!**

**Sargent Rankle: Oh, not again! I can't believe she got in again!**

**Me: You're fired.**

**Sargent Rankle: What? You can't do that! I don't have anywhere else to go!**

**Me: Too bad. **

**Sargent Rankle: _runs away crying_**

**Me: Great, now I need a new security guard.**

**Lilac Rose6: Here you go! _hands me a stack of papers_**

**Me: what's this?**

**Lilac Rose6: My application!**

**Me: You want to be the new security guard?**

**Lilac Rose6: No, I want to be your Co-host for these author's notes!**

**Me: But I'm not looking for that position.**

**Lilac Rose6: But I'm so qualified!**

**Me: _Looks over application_ You're right! You are! Ok, you're hired!**

**Lilac Rose6: Yay!**

**Me: But you still have to pay for the wall _points to wall she broke through with the Megadoomer_**

**Lilac Rose6: I know.**

**Me: Ok then, I guess that's just about all-**

**Lilac Rose6: Wait! If I'm the new Co-host, you can call me Niki!**

**Me: Ok then, Niki! Now to just wrap up. That you all for reading my story, and I am really, really sorry that I took so long to update. But because of the pestering of my friend-**

**Niki: That's me!**

**Me: Yes, it was you. As I was saying, because of the pestering of Niki, I completed this chapter and will continue with the story. And if I take too long to update again, you can PM constantly and remind me to. I really don't mind, and that would probably help. **

**Niki: So now we are signing off!**

**Me: Yeah! Have a good day!**

**Niki: Please review!**

**Me: And thank Jhonen Vasquez for coming up with Invader Zim!**


End file.
